Rejoice! :)

I am more and more excited about moving. Everyday that passes I get so happy with just thinking of seeing my family again!
Saturday I went to the art institute, it was magnificent! I really didn't expect to see so many impressionists! I loved the stack of hay by Monet. How beautiful.
Some frustration and disapointment though. The Chagall windows are closed to the public until 2011 (why I have no idea) and the institute is a labyrinth. I tried to access certain rooms and gallery, but after many dead ends I gave up. Yes I had a map. Yes I can read a map. It was just plain weird. They have floors that you can access only through specific stairs, and room that are next to each others, but there is no door in between, so you need to go down 3 stories,across a half gallery then up 2 floors then accross and then up one more. It reminded me a lot of the Sorbonne. They have those mysterious half levels there... It took me a semester to master the floor plan.

Anyway I had a good saturday. I met Mr L at his convention, and we went out to an indian place. I am very lucky that no food really puts me off. The only thing that makes me cringe is awesome ice cream (the kind like haagen daz or ben & jerry with lots of extra cream and sirups and fancy pieces), and creamed corn. Especially creamed corn, ewww. Otherwise I'm pretty much an eating machine. I still love spicy food, maybe even more than before, and grapes. I have to limit myself to 1/2lb a day, otherwise it would be gone before I get home from the store..

Sunday was the 3rd Sunday of Advent. I can't believe it goes so fast! I have been back to my previous church lately. I haven't gone to morning mass more than once in a month, because it's just too early and too cold, but as I'm feeling much better in the mornings I will get back to it eventually.. Anyway 3rd sunday of Advent is the "Rejoice Sunday". One more reason why I love liturgy. :) We went to evening mass with Mr L. We were right on time, which usually means late in my church as they start 2 min before the hour.. But not this time. As soon as we passed the door the priest called my name. I was VERY surprised that he even remembered me, as the only priest I saw these past 2 months was the other one.. Anyway it was the bilingual mass and he asked me to do the reading! I was very surprised!!!
I did readings for morning mass back in the Bronx, but there was only 5 of us. I did many readings in France, but that was in French!
I also had to read the prayers intention both in English and in Spanish!
Actually it went pretty well. I was very happy I had some prayer time on Saturday to get to know the texts!

Yesterday Mr L went to work at a coffee shop, he said he'd look at guitares, there is a beautiful shop right next to his "coffice". When he came back in the evening he brought me a box of tiny sweet little cakes (how darling) and...
a gibson.

I don't know exactly which model it is, but it looks exactly like this to me.
So now we have a guitare. :) I was quite surprised, but not upset. I am glad he found it. Some other guy bought it and returned it 3 days later, so now it's second hand, hence HUGE sale, and hard to pass.. I know almost nothing about music, but I know Mr L is a musician. :) He can play harmonica and guitare, and cello I think.
He was thinking of getting a guitare for a while, I had no idea he was serious. I think moving away reminded him of his dream. Now in France he'll definitely be the American jazzman. :) He can take it and play the "How-I-miss-my-country blues" when he feels exiled. I know the feeling. It is great he got it before we move, and definetly better to invest in that kind of thing before we have a baby, then I don't think we'll have enough money just sitting around..
I guess now I don't have to worry too much about a birthday present.. :)

Updates..

For Thanksgiving we were planning on going to Tulsa to visit Mr L's dad and his family. But it would have been too far, too much road, and too much stress. SO we decided not to (we called Sunday to let them know). I was a little sad, because I was really looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving in an American family. And I wanted to know Mr L's step siblings.. But hopefully we'll visit at some point in the future, and maybe the tensions in the family will settle down more by then. :)
Anyway..
This will be my third time celebrating Thanksgiving!

Our menu for tomorrow is :
smoked turkey breast
leftover brocoli casserole
mashed potatoes
blue cheese and salad with walnuts
candied bacon-peanut butter pie
Pumpkin bread (that we bought to bring to the family...A big one!)
fruits compote / ice cream

I really want to make coconut flan because I made curry the other day and I have this wonderful-for-cooking coconut milk, and I crave custard.. YUM!
Mr L is really excited about the bacon/peanut pie. When I saw that recipe I immediatly thought of him! :) But I don't think I'll have too much. I just can't think of eating peanut butter, in any form..

I also wanted to update on Saturday outings. We had a wonderful Saturday!! I love Chicago, I love our lifestyle here!! We walked about 6 hours on Saturday.
First we went to that hot dog place. Chicago is famous for its wonderful hot dogs. Hot Doug is the place to go to get original ones. We had 4 to share so we can try many things.. :)

There was a duck saussage hotdog (top right), a rattlesnake saussage (top left), an applewurst saussage (bottom left) and an elk saussage (bottom right) and a side of potatoes fried in duck fat (just like my dad loves it!)
It was all really good. My favorite was surprisingly the rattlesnake. My stomach who craves healthy right now was not too happy, but I had an apple in my purse to balance it out... Yeah it was pretty fat, but oh so savoury!! A real chicago experience. I like people who turn dreams into a good business. I think Doug here had a great idea and I am glad it is working for him! The line outside is one hour! And the place is open only from 10 am to 4 pm..

After that great early lunch we went on with our walking around. We passed by a Christmas tree lot that smelled heavenly. We got a dunkin donut break (with orage juice for me, I couldn't do a donut after the hot dogs!! By the way I was surprised by ho wmuch folic acid is in an orange juice!!).
We ended up at Lincoln park, and visited the zoo again. I love this place. The zoo is FREE. And beautiful, and quite big in my opinion. Here are a few pictures:


Last time we saw the lions outside, and the tigers. The tiger male was crying (? I don't know how his sound is named, roaring?) and it was VERY impressive. You could hear it all over the zoo.
I want to go back next week! This is one of my favorite places in Chicago. I hope to see the bears next time. I was really looking for the raccon but they seem to not have them, too many in the streets I guess.
After the zoo we walked some more (yes seriously) and we went for diner at wholefoods. They have a complete diner hall, with a pizza place, a salad bar, a diner type restaurant, a hot food bar, and several soup stands throughout the store. I had soup and a slice of pizza (did you know walking 6 hours burns over 1000 calories?) and Mr L had soup and grilled cheese sandwich. Way cheaper that going out to a restaurant, and great quality too. This was really fun! :)

We did not do the gangster tour, it sounded really fun, but it was 28$ per person so we didn't even try. Mr L downloaded a ipod tour, that we may try out next week end.. And we didn't go to the lake either. Maybe once it's frozen! :) I really want to go to the zoo again though.

Then Sunday we were both so tired from walking, and probably somewhat sick from being in the cold so next time we'll try to limit the walk, and enjoy it on both days...
That's it for the updates.

Have a great Thanksgiving all!! :)

Dear country of adoption

In the past months and years I have learned to love the USA. I visited many cities, I took several road trips that made me crave for more wide spaces discoveries.
I learned also about the American spirit: freedom, independence, justice, faith...
I learned about culture, too often mocked and summed up as a mix of Mc Donalds and coca cola, when it is actually so rich not only in great foods (smoked food! Cajun!! so many many more) but also in writers, cineasts, artists, speakers etc.
What I don't understand is why the health care reform is so hard to admit. Yes there is a need for health care as a basic public service. Like there is an army, police and public schools. Because this is how a society work. We are not individuals alone in the wild struggling for survival. We are together because together we are stronger. United we stand.
I can't leave with the fear that if our baby comes to soon we may go over the health care ceiling. Then what? We live on the streets with a preemie? We declare bankruptcy? I don't think that fear should exist in the XXI st century.

Also I don't understand how a country that have about 4000 abortions a day is not trying to support and encourage those who want to have children, who can afford to raise them, but can't afford the hospital stay because if all in a sudden a C-section is needed they would be in debt for years. I think it is sad that some people who would be great parents and raise wonderful, happy, balanced children on little money are held back because of medical costs for the birth.

Things about Chicago

and maybe just American things that I hadn't noticed earlier:
- every apartment has a deck, with a mandatory grill.
- Halloween store houses. Stores that are ONLY selling Halloween costumes. What do they do the rest of the year???
- Take out. A lot. Seems a lot more frequent here than in France. We do have pizza delivery, and restaurant chains, but most people cook (cheaper) and sometimes go out to eat (more fun). Well in MY France. ;)
-supermarket aisles: even in the smallest local shop, there is an ENTIRE aisle for : disposable anything, chips and salsa. But there is very limited, or not at all, section for shampoos and bath products, toothpaste and deodorant, wine, cured meat, chocolate in tablets (not candy).
- In Chicago the parks are bigger than in NYC. And there are more :)
- Less trains and buses, MORE walk. My heels are worn out already!Literally a 1/8 to a 1/4 of an inch shorter! I bought them when we moved not 2 months ago. Saturday Mr L and I both got a pair of hiking shoes, waterproof :) I walk at least 1 hour a day, just going to church and to the supermarket. If I do both that's already closer to 2 hours!!And I must say I love it :) It so beautiful with the yellow trees right now.
- I'll have to add more later... I know there is so much more. I notice something almost everyday.

update 1!

Already an update :)

I finished the first star. I am actually glad I don't have a sewing machine, because I wouldn't be skilled enough to do the corners...
This afternoon I cut and prepared an other 3 stars:
I just have to put them together now and we'll be set for the corners of my 9 stars.

But I don't know what to do next...
I need 5 other stars and "joints" long rectangles and small squares to join the stars. I have a few other fabrics, all so beautiful!
This one I used as background for the corner stars. I don't have enough left to do all the backgrounds. Maybe 2 more, or the long pieces for the joints.


Anyway I was thinking to have a middle star in yellow (how original), but this fabric looks like aida, so I could cross stitch something easily in the middle...
so this was my idea.Yellow in the middle and leaves for background.
Then I would have 4 stars left to do.
I was thinking 2:


and 2:

because the chinese design is so nice I would like to put it as the star, and have purple and red as a background..

So here are 2 options:

I like 2 better so far actually, I like the contrast of light/dark backgrounds.

quick poll:

Which one do you like best? option 1 or 2?
Or do you have a better suggestion to use those fabrics?

doing something

Sunday in Mr L.'s church, there was a volunteering fair. Many tables with people presenting their association and what volunteers can do.
I signed up for baking :) once a month I think, to make cookies. I love making cookies, but I shouldn't eat too many. SO this is perfect. I can eat a couple and give the rest! :)
I also signed up for the quilts. I was so happy that they gave me fabric right away!! :)
They get fabric that go out of production, and give it to people with time on their hands. We sew it together and send it back to the lady, and she gives it to hospitals and children associations, to bring comfort. She also does exhibits. I think it's a neat idea!
I started a quilt when I was 19 or so. But never finished it... It's in France, somewhere, halfway through. I also made a blamkie for my nephew. That I finished. And it was cute :)
So this time I'm decided to do it well, and to finish it.
Yesterday I did most of a star:


objective for today: to do another one. Or at least finish this one and start a second star. :)
It should be a 9 stars design. If I work well it should be done by the end of october..
Here is a picture of an other fabric. She gave me many fabrics, I really like it!



I was starting to feel useless and sad, but this gives me a goal! :)
I'll post updates to keep myself accountable.

7 quick takes Friday- road trip edition

I haven't done a 7QT in at least a month! Here is the story of our moving trip.
1- New York City. Not too sad to leave. I do miss the sisters. It was so nice to go there for mass in the morning, sometimes I would have a coffee with them, or just show Sr Rita some tips for her computer.. Anyway, we left at 7 am on a beautiful morning, we put some music on ("Sweet home Chicago") and we took our first stop in Cracker Barrel for a big filling breakfast.
Did I mention how much I love Cracker Barrel?
2- After a few more hours on the road we arrived at the Canadian border around 2 PM. The border guards were very nice. I don't know if my speaking French helped. Mr L was a little more stressed than me. The guard was not thrilled that we decided to take a trip to Canada with a truck full of card boxes. But they didn't bother us too much. We waited a few minutes for tehm to check our paperwork, and off we went! Our first night on the road was in Montreal. We visited a little, and then went for diner at "le pied de cochon" a famous foie gras restaurant. I had foie gras poutine which was delicious! I asked what the sauce was made of, (please sit): pork and duck fat, reduced with cream!!!! LOL! Oh well it's a once in a lifetime experience..
3- The following morning I woke up very early and went to the hotel swimming pool. It felt great! My wonderful husband looked for hotels with swimming pools, so we could get some moving around for our legs. I enjoyed every minute of it! We originally planed on staying in Montreal for most of the day and drive in the afternoon, but we couldn't get a subway ticket (they won't accept american or european cards, so no ATM, so no canadian money, so no subway! not super tourist friendly IMO). Bref we left early again and drove to Toronto. I think we stopped in a small fries schack. My stomach had had enough with fries (with just one day!).. In Toronto we had some fun and interesting discussion looking for the hotel. The main debate was over using the iphone or following street directions. The old way won in Canada. No way to find your way with iphone GPS...

4- We left Toronto early again, and got to... The Niagara Falls. This was AWESOME. Literally. Probably my favorite part of the trip.
We did a short but oh so beautiful walk in the Niagara State Park.

The rapids...

5- After Niagara we went to Buffalo, which is not too far. Very cool city. I would love to go back. We went to a Jesuit church and then to sandwiches in a big brewery. It was very laid back. Buffalo is definetly on my list of good surprises. I like it more than Canada (no offense if you're Canadian)
the big sculpture on the left is " The lake effect man" he is protecting from the wind (and I guess ready to enjoy a good sandwich and beer at the brewery).From Buffalo we went to Cleveland where we spend the night. They had a NICE swimming pool in the Cleveland (m/h?)otel.

6- After all that road we were just tired of driving.. So the driver decided to go as close to CHicago as possible. We did the last part of the road listening to the audio book of Lewis and CLarck, how wonderful to listen to this on the road!! I loved it! I hope I can finish it someday (it's an 18 hours audio book)
I could imagin the bears ready to jump on us! Well it doesn't look this wild on the side of the road, but the idea of how much forest and wild land there is gives me chills. In Europe every square inch of forest is controlled by forest guardians. Not that they hang out in every corner, what I mean is they control the growth and death of trees, they regulate wild life and hunting areas... Big wide and wild spaces are just unbelievable to me!

7- We went back to Cracker Barrel in the morning, before our very short drive home. :) We also stopped by ikea to get a couple things for the house. And by 1pm we were there. Ready to unpack!
Thank you chauffeur :)
(yes I don't have a driver licence, I don't even know how to start an automatic car... He did the 2000 miles all by himself!)

great outing under 5$ in NYC!

This week end I worked more than 20 hours. In just a week end...
The funny part is that Friday my employer told me to limit my time to 30 hours a week, not more, and that she knows we agreed on me having a Saturday off every month, but they can't do it anymore (I was on a retreat last week and apparently that was too much people that particular week). Hmm sure... Dear hubby was not very happy about it. Me neither. I don't feel much consideration.

On Sundays my job is to take our residents out, so they can enjoy a nice activity that makes them feel good. Without spending money. Well that's not true, we got metrocards :)
And there was only one guy with me (the others had home visits and the new one wasn't here yet). Off we go to central park. On the way to the subway he tells me: "oh let's go to the Staten Island ferry!"
That sounded like a good idea, until I remembered my last trip to ikea Brooklyn :)
There is a free water taxi! It's so much more fun than the Staten Island ferry! It's smaller, so more sensations, and you can sit outside and it goes so fast!
On top of that in Staten Island there is not much to do in just 1/2h. But in Ikea they have hotdogs for 50 cts, ice creams for a dollar etc.

In the mean time Mr L. had friends over for BroDay, so when I got home at 10pm they were still a couple people watching Die Hard. They saved me steak :) and there was still TP in the bathroom. Good guys!

Douce France...

I going to France this Friday! YEAHOOOOOOOOO! Our plane departs on Friday night and arrives on Saturday afternoon. Just on time to make it for the Easter Vigile. :)
I'm so happy and excited!
First of all I get time off work. Which is relaxing. On top of that we go together, so that means 12 days with Mr. L. and no weird working hours to separate us..
Then of course I get to see my family. We'll re-celebrate our marriage on the 18th so everyone comes to visit us and celebrate with us! Cousins, uncles and families are coming from every where in France, sometimes as much as from a 6 hours road trip!

I was talking with other non-american co-worker and we all noticed this funny double standard: if we are in the US, going on a road trip for just one or two states across is fine. It's just one or two days on the road.
But if we're in our home country a 2 hours drive is SO FAR..
I guess because we see distances with a differente scale.. Also I think the trains are for something in there. If I visit my family in the Alps, I love taking a train. Some can go as fast as 250mph. Or there is the over night train, much slower but I always get a good night of sleep in those. They have cars for lone-women (meaning only women will sleep there, much less snoring, and probably more "security" but all cars seem very secure to me...) Anyway I miss good trains. It would be so useful here: with a TGV you could be from NYC to Boston in just 2h30 etc.. and there are so many "important" cities on the East coast..

Anyway I was talking about going to France. I need that!
I've been so stressed out lately that my body got lost in Phase II (dear NFP friends empathy with me: it's been a month-long phase II already, a shy temp raise showing up, but still very very mucusy).
I don't have expectations over there. Just visiting my parents. I so thankful I can still call it home :) I'll cook with my dad, I bring him some smoke in a bottle, he's gonna love bbq food! And going for a walk with all women and kids. It's a tacite tradition, after big family meals (basically every Sunday lunch if we have guests) the guys fall asleep for their naps, and all ladies gather strollers and toddlers and we go for a walk, with some hard bread to feed the ducks :) I like those little family special times :)

While in Franc eI'll try to post at least a few pictures, but we still have dial up connection so I can't garantee anything..

questions about volunteering...

Here is a 12 weeks fetus = 10 weeks since this human was conceived. The lines are his heartbeat. 10 weeks is most commonly the time when unplanned pregnancies are discovered.
I had to skip one of my Thursdays mornings with struggling moms to attend a meeting at work and since then I was wondering if my volunteering is really useful...
I go on Thursday mornings to the Expectant Mother Care center, which is otherwise known as "pregnancy center".
The reasons why I go:
- I believe abortion is wrong, and never the best solution neither for the mom, nor for the baby,
- I think there should be a place where women in a crisis pregnancy could go to get help, and someone to hear their story, just because talking help
- I learned those places exist! I wanted to help and learn (like how to run such a place etc...)
- I also wanted to understand why there are so many abortions in the US, and on what ground (health, money, too many kids...). I learned a lot in this regard!
- Also I don't make much money, so volunteering is my way of giving something back: time.
- and I'm quite optimist which I think can be a good thing, help people to see the bright side when it's too difficult... (This works only if you are realistic, along with optimist)
- You can call it foetus, or baby, but you can't deny it's a human. You can argue about whether you have the right to decide who lives and dies and why, but you can't deny that terminating a human life is a murder. And I just can't let that happen 4000 times a day without saying/doing anything. (but marching with bloody pictures of tiny babies is against my religion, so volunteering in EMC is the second best option)

Why I consider stopping the volunteering:
- It's really sad to see some women opting for abortion. Especially when they don't seem to realize
- It's also really sad to hear some situations, and a mother say : "but I don't want this thing, it's not a good time, later maybe..." Like every thing is disposable..
- I feel very useless, as a volunteer I'm paired with a counselor, but I don't feel like I'm making much difference, and I have to go to work at 12:30 or 1 PM. So I'm here all morning, but most girls are coming between 11AM and 2:30 PM...
- I have more work than usual and could use the time to advance it. In the meantime I was supposed to do less hours so I'm not sure it's a good idea...
- I have a different approach than the counselor who works with me and I'm a little uncomfortable with "what people will think". I'm really afraid to put off the persons who come to us.

My main disagreement is about talking about God to non-religious persons.

If they don't bring the topic of God and religion, I don't bring it up either, I focus on material, emotional and ethics with the moms. But Mrs H always talks about God. When I asked her why she brings it up to non-religious people she says they need Him, and it's probably the only place where they will hear about God.
To which I disagree.
(I don't think it's the only place they will.. I just got a working out dvd that is "christianly inspired!!!" And I didn' find out until I received it... I mean where else in the world???!!!)
My concern is that if indeed it's the only place where we advice NOT to do the abortion, and we tell them about religious things, then they may reject BOTH, and associate BOTH.

I'm convinced abortion is wrong whether you believe in God or not.

And I believe that it takes much more time to become a believer than to realize how bad an abortion would be.
And conversion is a mystery, it doesn't rely on what ONE person will SAY ONE DAY to you, it takes several days, months, years, its a personal research that mainly relies on ACTS that you can witness, and real discussions...
So of course I don't say EMC is a proselytist place where counselors are pushing beliefs on desperate ladies, but they are always mentioning God at some point, and that makes me uncomfortable in some cases. (Note that most often the lady just agrees with whatever the counselor says, and they are not hyper pushy either...)
Maybe because I was raise to be very defiant of any argument that rely on religious reasons...

Don't get me wrong I agree that probably what a desperate mother needs most is to turn to God, and pray for help, strength and hope... But if she doesn't feel that way, if she doesn't KNOW it, I don't think it's good to suggest it, because it sounds weird if you have no contact with good willing religious people, if you have prejudice about religion or God.. And then we are just working against ourselves..

So I guess I'd like to find a lay EMC. Do you know any?

7 quick takes Friday

1- Lenten resolutions:
My resolutions were:
-pray with consistency the complies. And if possible do it with DH.
- eat oatmeal for breakfast, no snacks and light dinners
-save money from outing and pick a charity to give it to
-no crap TV during lunch break
- + read the book of proverbs
well resolutions... lost somewhere...
-DH was gone for a week last week, and we haven't prayed together since!
- I eat oatmeal OR cheerios. ;)
- still not too much going out, only cheap places on Sunday. Last Sunday we went sushi, to celebrate Mr. L. coming home :) It may be a small donation anyway..
- no crap TV during lunch break. More or less kept this week. :) Only I turn on the TV in the afternoons sometimes (like around 5PM)
- book of Proverb 2 more chapter.
Actually this is not tooooooo bad.

2- Also I decided to spend more time with DH in the mornings, sometimes instead of getting up and going to church I stay home with him, cuddling and sleeping in.. It feels nice, it's a good time to be together and to start the day.
But I also realize how much I miss morning mass when I don't go for several days in a row. It's not that easy to be joyful and thankful... Also I go to a very private mass, just 5 people on big days, and there is no homely or anything, it's 20 min max, but we spend 10 min in silence before the last prayer, and that is a very good time for praying. :)
So now my next resolution would be to find a better balance between family life and morning mass!

3- I may work in the morning. For the afterschool program they could have tutoring at... 7:00 AM! The school is litteraly 2 blocks away from my house, and they kids are there anyway, waiting for school to start. Man, these are long days for the children!! We have them in the afterschool program from 2:30 PM to 6:00 or 6:30 PM. It's almost a 12 hours day! No wonder they are tired, impatients and not focused... I would do tutoring....hmmm I think I'll look into homeschooling ideas to make it fun. At least they could see it as a game :)

4- I lost 1 pound. Not much but still in the right direction. :) That's 5 pounds so far. :) 15 more to go! Today I saw a dermatologist (for my myriad of moles), I told her about the regular doctor telling me to lose weight, she said "oh yes, that would be good for you!!" Like duh! Yes you need to loose A LOT!
I was quite surprised.. I don't feel I'm that big... Sure I have some padding on the behind, but this is my personal reserve for winter and recession...

5- Tomorrow we go on with the art project. Finishing "Solomon Temple", and the sky, and a tree to hung all prayers... I'm really happy about it!

6- Thursday we start the discussion group with the teens. The teens in our program are awfully rude, disrespectful and crude. So we're going to give a try to the theology of the body for teens. Actually it's very broadly inspired, because we also want to include a lot about optimism, positive critism and responsabilities. These kids should be upset at all the injustice in the world, ready to rise and make a change, instead they are whining, complaining and insulting. Let's try something, can't get much worse right now. Sometimes all you need is a little thought provocation... Crossing fingers and praying hard!

7- I didn't report about EMC yesterday. I saw only one girl. We talked a lot (by we I mean she, I mostly listen and ask a few question to help her consider all options). And more than ever I try to follow 2 guide lines:
first Love. As simple as it sounds it's difficult for me to not look down at some people who make several poor decisions. It's very humbling to realize that I'm not better and to see how human and limited we all are...
second is that when you face a crisis-pregnancy, the problem is the crisis, not the child.
So I listened to that girl, and I pointed that out to her. Even if you get your abortion, what is going to happen? You're just going back to where you come from!
When her "boyfriend" found out she was pregnant he broke up with her. Good riddance. (I agreed). Her problem is that she has 2 other little ones and she has problem to have them cared for when she works. My point is that this new little one already helped her get rid of that awful guy, now he could also be a great motivation to find a better solution to her working and day care schedule..
As bad as your situation is, "terminating" the baby is not going to help you, it just sends you right back where you come from. Whereas as a pregnant woman you can get much more help, and you get the motivation to get yourself out of bad situation...
Sometimes I get really upset at some unknown entity called media, or "society", or "culture", especially when I hear a mom telling me how hard it is to get food for her children, and how difficult it is to pay the bills: rent, electricity, cable, cell phone, nails... I mean since when the last three have become necessities ? Seriously? Your nails are on the list BEFORE feeding your children???
waouh. Just waouh.

I've been interviewed!

Well I asked for it ;)
Morgan from adventures in diapering asked me 5 questions, and a couple bonus :)
Stop by her blog, she talks about her C-sections, her family life, wonderful b-day cakes and encouraging talks.

1. Your blog says you were raised Agnostic/Atheist- have you found faith in God now? If so, how did your change in heart come about?

Hmmm I was not exactly raised atheist. My mom is catholic (although she doesn't "believe in the Church") and she took me and my sister to mass every Sunday. I also went to CCD and that was fun. But apart from these 2 hours a week, there was no religion in my life. And generally speaking my country is very shy about faith. In France talking about God is seen as "fanatism" very quickly. I think we went overboard in the "respect" of people beliefs, because everything is taboo, so of course if you're interested in religion there is few place to look for. I'm thankful my mom took me to church as a kid, because I remembered it as a place to look for.
So for a change of heart when I was a teen I had a love story with my first long term boyfriend, and I realized that my feelings where much bigger than me. I mean when you love someone you can open up to much more than yourself :) So I started believing in something bigger. The "in" thing was natural religion, like a superior power, kind of pagan fertility godness... The rest is a long story! I should make a separate post about it.. :)

2. How did you meet your husband? What brought the two of you together?

I met him on the internet! LOL! yep, on yahoo personals. He was on it for a year or so. I joined out of joking with a friend. But you have to make up a profile to look around. And then they give you advices how to meet people, and relationship readiness tests.. I didn't want to really meet people. I exchanged emails with a few WEIRD guys... but then he emailed me and he was very cute and fun. Both very mature and not taking himself too seriously.
It was a transitional time in my life, and he came up as an answer to my questions. What brought us together was shared values, and desire for commitment. I think. Within 3 months we were talking about marriage. :)

3. Describe your work- what does a typical day at work involve?

-Typical day at work...
I usually go to church in the morning. It's on the last floor of the place I work, so afterwards I simply go punch in and off to work. :)
on daytime weekdays I do paperwork: attendance of our workshops, emails, preparing workshop, filling data for reports for foundations who finance us, sometimes going to Court with a resident. I also prepare a curriculum for teaching CCD (Sunday School) and some art projects :) This is really exciting!
-On a typical night schedule I help cooking diner then eat with the residents, if any are eating... Then I check the schedule of the ones out, what time they should be back, what they're doing out there (they have to put those infos in a log book at the entrance). I also check the chores (emptying garbage cans, cleaning up bathrooms and bedrooms) and talk a little bit. This part can be tricky, if I say " How was your day?" and the guy starts telling me about personal stuff or details of his case I have to stop him and redirect to counselor. SO I don't ask this. I comment on TV or try a conversation about food (I got a reputation of foodie!!). We also play board games, and plainly watch tv.
-Saturday is community day.
I get in around noon, prepare CCD and workshop with other staff (it's ready on paper but we need to install room, talk about it etc.)
then at 2 I have the communion group until 3PM, then I go in the cafetaria and try to find occupation for the kids until 3:50PM. Then I take altar servers to the chapel, there is mass at 4PM then between 5 and 6 I hand out the food and bread for food pantry.
-Sunday: if I work on Sunday it's usually receiving the families of newer residents, or taking everyone out: walk in the park, beach in the summer, some kind of activity.. then like a regular night.

4. How did you become involved in a Crisis Pregnancy Center? Have you always had such a strong passion for working with women who are pregnant and scared?

When I started NFP I was not really pro-life. I was not superhardcore pro-choice either. I was very grateful for Planned Parenthood who provide so many people world wide with free contraceptives.
Then I opened up about the idea that fertility is the NORMAL way your body functions. And contraceptions do have side effect, and failure rates. It was like waking up from a dream. I also thought that having sex in your teenage day was as normal as getting your period. It was BIOLOGIC. Then I realized that it has emotional and spiritual implications.
So I guess I started getting interested in contraception's alternatives. Then in abortion's alternatives!!! But I was really repelled by being officially pro-life, as they seemed very fanatic to me (see #1 for religious=fanatism). But I still thought abortion was such an abomination: mothers getting rid of their own fetus, and some don't even care!! So I imagined a place where women could get help when facing a difficult situation, and these places exist! So here I am, non-fanatic pro-life trying to help resolve the crisis in "crisis-pregnancy".

5. You said you use the NFP method. How has this worked out for you now that you're married? What are some of the strongest benefits to this method vs. taking the pill?

I'm glad I found out about NFP. So far we have not been trying for a baby. It has been difficult at times. Mostly due to adjustment to the method, and following all the rules. Now we are more confident, my cycles seem so regular that we can use more days in phase I, and we are less concerned about the possibility of a kid coming along. The strongest benefits for me have been:
-getting to know my cycle, feeling inpowered. I don't have to rely on taking a pill to know wheter I'm fertile or not, and if we take a chance, it's knowingly
-having meaningful sex. It's not just about having fun, it expresses our mutual engagement to stay together whatever happens. Even if a baby happens.
-way better sex: no yucking-killing-the-mood condoms or hormonal side effects
-learning a teaching of my Church that really makes sense "in real life" and change my take on many things in my daily life.. I think it really helps me being less selfish and pondering all my daily acts and words
- huge increase of self esteem :)

Also, just out of curiosity-

Did you live in France your whole life until recently? Your English is perfect!
Thank you :) I'm very flattered! Especially as I see some errors here and there when I come across something I wrote earlier, so I guess there are MANY errors in my english, but I'm glad you understood what I wrote! :)
To answer the question: yes I lived in France my whole life, that is until september 2007. I've learn english at school and through 6 feet under (the tv show) because it was available only in english, with sometimes the english subtitles..

Also, growing up in an agnostic/atheist family- what was that like? What things will you be doing differently with your children and faith?

As I said in #1 it's not so much my family that was agnostic/atheist, but the whole country. So it was like... hm I don't really know anything else! I know that USA seems a very religious country to me, where people talk about God a lot, and even on TV! I'm not sure it's the best way either. But I know one thing, growing up in and non-religious environement makes everything discutable, and relative. It's great in some ways, but really tiring most of the time, you have to rethink EVERYTHING all the time: what is right? what is wrong? what matters? The system of values varies a lot depending on the last person who talked, especially if that person is a good orator. I guess we are more a country of philosophs. But I'm glad I found the Truth in Christ. (That really sounds fanatic to me, btw, but it really is how I feel it: coming home after wandering a lot...)
If I have children I'll share time with them, I'll pray with them and I hope they will look into it. I'll try to share my happiness, and to show them the treasures of the Bible, when read with respect and humility. I oon't want to turn them into religious freaks but to let them grow as respectful christians, who know their freedom and the love of God for them.

Thanks Morgan for this interview, I wanted to write about my faith for a long time!

♥If you would like for me to interview YOU:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions - make sure I can reach you by e-mail or leave your e-mail in your comment).

3. You then update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

7 quick takes Friday

hosted by Jennifer at conversion diary.
1- BBQ tonight!
I know it's Friday, and Lent... Our new house mate's family is here until tomorrow, they came all the way from Belgium and as we all work here, we all have different night supervision schedule, so the only way to have a dinner all together is today! I'll make plenty of salads on the side. Right now I'm so hungry everything sounds good!! :) Potato salad, mexican salad, cucumber/yogurt.. yum!

2- Lent resolutions so far...
My resolutions were:
-pray with consistency the complies. And if possible do it with DH.
- eat oatmeal for breakfast, no snacks and light dinners
-save money from outing and pick a charity to give it to
-no crap TV during lunch break
- + read the book of proverbs

I did:
- pray ONCE the complies... But my goal was really to pray consistently every night with Mr L. and we did so far :) We even went to a taize prayer yesterday night :)
- eat delicious oatmeal for Breakfast and light dinners
- save money I can't tell yet, but I already received a "please send us money letter" from CCL and above rubies.. so they're on my list.
- read one chapter so far
- no TV so far either

3-NY Public Library announcement
Dear person who choose to put an hold on Till we have faces, why did you choose THIS particular copy? Said copy is falling apart and already borrowed... Why didn't you put an hold on the next open slot, a much more recent version of the same book?!
Aghhh I chose this old one because, out of the 30 available copies in NYC, I thought I could keep longer an old version...
Anyway, I guess that means I need to hurry up and finish the book if I want to keep posting for our book club Monday...

4-Posts on hold:
I so want to put my thoughts together on different subjects:

• still the problem of evil in our lives, I know there are many good article out there, but they aren't enough to me by themselves, so I want to associate several approaches.. It's too blurry for me right now
• Taize! Because yesterday's prayer was so nice
• Money. I got a hard time yesterday with money concerns.. How to help someone relax about money? How to find the right balance between money concern (healthy to some extend) and realizing that you don't NEED that much to have a good life..
  
• I'd love to suggest a new book for Book Club Monday: The best of worlds, Aldous Huxley. What I see here in USA seems so unreal at times, it's like living in that book, I'd love to read it again and share with fellow bloggers :)
  

5- Facebook update:
I quit facebook on December 29th. I'm so glad I did. I just read this creepy article and I'm really happy I'm not using facebook anymore. (See creepiness of above mentioned book turned to reality)

6-Work is really interesting!
I'm working on propositions for groups: small business development, money management and my favorite: PARENTING!! :) (thanks Laura for appreciated input)
Still preparing the CCD curriculum, and a session with teens for motivation, putting sense in life, and sex education.

7-weight loss?
So the doctor told me to lose 20 Pounds!!! that was Tuesday. When I weight myself on Thursday morning I was 167lbs! Yeah for fasting on Ash Wednesday! 17 more to go...

the fancy T assignement

Take a deep breath, and get ready to meet 10 things I love, starting with a T:

#1: Tartan!

Absolute number one of the moment, just got married and tartan was part of the package, Lamont ancient. :) It also comes with jolly Scottish festivities: Burns poems, bagpipes, haggis, deep fried anything...
When we got engaged I got a wool scarf at his colors, I was so proud :) Now I'm thankful because it's excellent against the cold, a huge, warm woolen scarf.













#2 tales.
I love stories, especially traditional and local tales, and of course urban legends.

#3 taboos.
Linguistic taboos are worth all the archeology in the world. Did I mention I'm a linguistic nerd? Taboos are pearls of the language. People meet something unspeakable, so they wrap words around, and knit around fears, threats and death... It's especially evident for words like moon, wolf, death in latin and greek. But the best part is that still today we have those taboo: "he passed away" is one of the most common examples...

#4 treehouse.
I fancy a treehouse, I hope to have a big family one day, with a small house somewhere, or anything with a backyard and a tree. a fig tree if possible, just because their leaves smell so good, and they could build a treehouse. :)

#5 Tamanrasset







I fancy a trip to Tamanrasset. The name alone is an invitation to day dreaming. I have been inspired a lot by St Charles de Foucault and I would like to go in the desert, with my mom.

#6 tea.
Tea is almost as wonderful as hot cocoa. I could drink tea all day! Especially earl grey tea, or peppermint tea (is herbal tea really tea?)

#7 a real teapot.
I'm now desperate to ever find a double story teapot, just like this:










#8 Traditions
I like traditions, national traditions and family traditions. It's very exciting to be in a new country, starting a new family, mixing American and European traditions, Presbyterian and Catholic traditions, Scottish and French traditions...
Who said traditions are boring??

#9 Trader Joe's
It's a fun supermarket, not too pricey, very good products and very good atmosphere. For next Halloween I want to dress up as Trader Joe's. :)

#10 Food.
Can I go without food? here are 10 food I like starting with a T:
lemon-olive chicken Tajine,
tabouleh salad,
tartiflette,












tiramisu,
tarte aux pommes (different from apple pie)










tourte aux champignons (mushroom tart),
tamales (which I discovered here in the Bronx),
triffle (scottish dessert),
truffles,
terrine de lapin (rabbit pate).
Now I need to put all those receipes up....


Thanks Laura for tagging me, this was fun!

books in a luggage...

I went to Ellis Island last summer. I went with a friend visiting. I also went as part of the immigrant pilgrimage...
I was surprised by the size of their luggage. I thought they were huge.
Then I looked at the one I brought. Huge too. And I was alone. And I brought very few clothes. I had mainly chocolate and food (like mom's jam), some medicines (knowing I wouldn't have social security or health care), and books. Many books.






Here is a list of the books I had with me... (pictures coming soon )

• Religious books:

- new testament (in my backpack all the time)
- Liturgy of the hours
- la joie de croire (joy of believing) by Madeleine Delbrel
- joie de croire, joie de vivre (joy of believing, joy of living) by Francois Varillon
- le coeur du monde (the heart of the world) by Hans Urs Von Balthazaar
- l'humilite de Dieu (the humily of God) by Francois Varillon
-Dieu sans idee du mal (God without an idea of evil) by Michel Guarrigues
-les grandes amities (big friendships) by Jacques and Raissa Maritain
- some song books
- histoire de la congregation des filles de Jesus de Kermaria (history of the order of sister of Kermaria) ... When I came I was still considering joining the sisters... But instead I got married!

• linguistics.

I was planning on having lots and lots of free time, alone at home, so I brought some books to study, learn and improve a couple languages, and work on getting a law degree... I've read and re-read only the first two...
- Problemes de linguistique generale, tome 1 & 2, by Emile Benveniste (a fav.)
(I plan on bringing vocabulaire des institutions indo-europeenes on my next trip!)
- some grammar: German, Turkish, Greek, ancient Greek and Latin
- some vocabulary-language learning books: Greek, Turkish, German, Spanish and Italian.
My turkish is still really bad, german is now long forgotten. But my spanish went from level 0 to "I can understand and speak ok" which is a big achievement! Thanks Bronx!

various others:
mainly because of the teaching occupation in After-school program last year..
- body tap (music with claps and snaps)
-origami books (and paper!)
- calligraphy book and folder
- apprendre en jardinant (learning with gardening) I lost that book at work... :(

-the complete guide to Boston's freedom trail( which I got in Boston for my mom, brought home in France, and took back with me to learn about the revolution on the plane..)
-le guide de sante Bircher (the health guide by Bircher, the Swiss dude who invented the muesli diet!) because I love muesli, cheap and healthy!
- un corps de reve en 15 min par jour (dream body in 15 min a day) it was a gift from my sister... hmmm is that a message?

- droit de l'aide et de l'action sociale (law book)
- droit constitutionnel et institutions politiques (more law)

********************

The books I never opened are the german and italian book. German because it's definetly not something I speak if I get to choose. And italian because I'm afraid I would start confusing it with spanish.
I didn't use the law books much either, but I read a few chapters of each...

If I had to do it all over again I would most definetly bring the vocabulary of indo-european institution on the first trip. Just because I miss good stimulating books. All I can find here is Barnes and Nobles, which is already great! But they don't have those cheap second hand university stores...
And the library is quite limited.. I learned to appreciate love stories.. like steeple hill... Yeah, the teenager-me would be so ashamed! I'm reading love stories, like one or two A MONTH!! Well that was actually hilarious, I found an AMISH love story!!! whaouh where else in the world???

If you feel like commenting, or memeing this, feel free!!
Let me know which 10 books you would take on a desert island, or on a 2 years-long trip to France ;)

if it's not a human being, what is it?

This friday I went to Boston (YOUHOU) it was fun and everything but I'd like to share a conversation I had on the way back.

I was reading an article in Newsweek called "Abortion wars gets technical..." (p39 if you want to see it)
Someone bent over me and says "@#$%@#&*%#$" showing me that quote:
" The [new] law requires physicians[..] to read [to the patient] that she is about to "terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being".
I was surprised by this reaction, I ask him which part of the quote he disagrees with and we come to the interesting point where I have to ask this amazed question:
" But if IT is not human, what is it?"

Yep, I had to ask that question, obviously I missed the part where we are not human before we are born, some magical DNA transformation must occur between day 1 and week 30 something,
or maybe it's the woman's vigina who clothes you with humanity...
Hold on, then how about C-section babies?
I don't know I must have missed something in biology class...

So how do you define a human being?

What makes us biologically human, if it's not DNA?
Anonymous: " I think human life starts when the heart beats, it's been this definition for a thousand years in many cultures"
Me: "... (surprised that for once this person totally ignores the DNA discoveries of this past decade, I mean century...) ok let's say human life begins when there is a heart beat (week 3?) then what is it before?
- I don't know.. it's animal.."

It's animal.

Well let me hope that my future foetuses won't get stuck in the doggy stage, I get really scared when they bark..

Ok this answer was slightly upset. But why should he be upset about that discussion?
My problem is that people who usually quote scientific research 5 times a day suddently ignore science facts when it comes to abortion questions, like an unborn embryo has a separate, unique set of DNA and only needs time and nutrients to develop.
Because it would imply too much to just admit that embryo are human lifes.
That would mean abortion terminates a human life.
That might even be wrong.


I'm fed up with the religious war (and I've been here only a year!). This has nothing to do with religion. It's science!
A baby is human, it doesn't become human with his first take of oxygene through lungs, it was human in the womb. It doesn't become human the day the mother says " I will keep IT". I'm sorry but this is not how it works. It's disturbing, I know, I've been there. Where you realize abortion is killing someone in the process of sending a woman "back to her life, just like before". Well no, now she is the mother of a dead foetus, and he died on her choice.

Some part of the above-quoted conversation was about me being biased because I'm catholic and I believe there is a soul for the baby before he exists.
Well even if you want to argue in theological field, there is no soul before there is a body. Human being are so precious because they have a body to express their person. We are no angel, every body knows it ;)

I mean this is so important whenever you have to ask the question: " what makes us human?" in front of a situation, that usually means something is wrong.

Well maybe there is some catholicism in thinking that human beings are worth giving it a try. They should all get a chance to live in decent condition.
Well hold on, if I ever become american I won't need to be catholic to agree with that, it's the first lines of your constitution!!
But there is no catholicism involve in the definition of a human being. It's a fact.

Morning person: blessing or damnation?

I was reading a little bit on conversion diary, and I found those:

Questions for Morning People

1. If you didn't have any obligations, what time would you go to bed at night?
   
2. Assuming the bedtime from #1, if you didn't set an alarm, what time would you naturally wake up in the morning?
3. If you have gotten a good amount of sleep the night before, how long does it take you to feel energized and ready to go after you wake up? Or do you just feel like jumping out of bed as soon as you open your eyes?
4. If you have not gotten a good amount of sleep the night before, do you still feel peppy in the morning? If you do feel tired upon waking, how long until you feel more fully awake?
5. Have you ever in your life felt alert and fully ready to get up as soon as you awoke?
6. Do you like being a morning person? Don't you ever look out your window and think, "Aaah, this is awful, I'm awake and the sun is barely up! Why aren't I asleep?!"

1. I would go to bed at 9:00 PM or 9:30PM, read a little bit, chat with DH and sleep by 10 or 10:30. Most of the time when I'm not out we actually go to bed around 10:00PM which is pretty good :)

2. I wake up around 6 or 7AM

3. I just jump right out of the bed, crazy with happiness and grateful for the new day.

4. when I didn't have enough sleep, I wake up fresh and early anyway. I pay for it in the evening, being exhausted at 6 PM or so. If it was a very big lack of sleep I can sometimes go back to sleep. Like until 8:30 AM and same I feel great when i wake up. But if I sleep past 9 AM I have a bad morning, feeling sick or tired.

5. Yes this is how it is.

6. I'm very happy to be a morning person. But I must admit sometimes it's a little annoying. I can see my husband happily sleeping, smiling like a baby if I pet his hair, but I don't want to wake him up.. So I'm a little lonely. It was even worse when I was a teen. I would go to parties and sleep over. And wake up with the sun at 6 AM. Stuck in a house full of sleeping teens. And nothing would happen until 11 AM! Sometimes i would go for a walk, or clean up or read books or go buy fresh bread and croissants for breakfast :)

Something VERY important she forgot in her questions: what about breakfast?

I love breakfast. I'm so happy with America because you guys take breakfast seriously! Eggs and grits and milk and juice and all deliciousness from Heaven.How did I live without american breakfast? I cannot skip that meal.

The only problem when you are a morning person with a social life at work, is that most of your co-workers are not. Which means loneliness again: alone at work from 8 to 10 AM. But worse. The only one hungry at 11:30 AM, when everyone else had breakfast at 10!! So my coworkers go for lunch break between 1Pm and 2 PM. This is too late for my starving stomach, despite the wonderful 2 eggs sunny side up with toast and jam and an apple and milk... from 6:30AM!

I love being a morning person because mornings are quiet, full of promises for the day, peaceful and beautiful.

And gold. :)

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
so dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

(in case you didn't know it, Robert Frost)

Madison Square Garden

Yep I've been there. :)
I am usually not a New York sports fan. That's the LEAST you can say about me.
But yesterday I had a lot of fun cheering for the Knicks.
A friend got tickets and offered me to join the crowd. My wonderful husband is ok with staying home alone a few evenings every week ( he says he likes it better when I'm out for fun instead of work...)
So here I go to the middle of the big city. I "strongly dislike" Time Square and anything that looks alike. So MSG is not a place I hang out at usually..
But I loved it!!

Basketball is very easy to understand, they also have a bunch of crazy stats, and they score about every 2 minutes.
I don't know if it's because of being in Manhattan, so close to Broadway, but we had many, many tiny shows in between the plays:
- Some short games (" win a trip to england, japan..." or "get season tickets if you score a 3 pointer")
- some cheerleading (without pom-poms, which makes me sad because as stranger I expect american sports to come with a row of cheerleaders in mini skirts, with pompoms and perfect teeth...)
- and incredible jumpers (tumblers??)
- oh and also young talents celebration: 3 teens singing loud and a couple of tiny dancers, about 10 years old but amazing dancers. Waouh that was the best part of the evening!!
I'll put pictures when I found the cable... This one is from google...
And best for the end. Yes even better than the dancing kids...
I learned something yesterday.

Cracker jack are NOT crackers!!!
who could guess??
I learned about cracker jacks because my husband desperatly tried to teach me the song "take me out to the ball game" which I must say shouldn't be that hard, except I never get the lyrics right...
Well maybe now that I know cracker jacks are POPCORN it might get easier..