2 months old

I can't believe it's September; well into it actually!
What happened to my good resolutions? well let's not talk about it..

Saturday is our baby's baptism, he is growing so fast!! size 3 months is already tight on him.
I tried cloth-diapering but it's not been a great success so far. We also tried to get teh more environment-friendly disposables but well as I don't drive I just shop wherever nice people are willing to drive me..
I started driving school :) Quite proud of it actually. I went only once so far but it's been only a week and I'll add more classes next week.

I had a rough time when I was crying everyday for my nephew. I was so thrilled to have a baby about the same age as my sister's, I was already imagining all the things they could do together, and that I would be closer to my sister..
One day was especially bad, I would not stop crying, and the baby was crying too, and the following morning it was all gone. I am still sad but more peaceful about it, not too emotional. I know all my dreams for my baby and his cousin will not come true in this world, but we'll get to know him later.
For his brother's baptism Mr. L and I sang "I'll fly away". I sing it with the baby. He likes music.

positive thoughts

Today has not been good so far.
I went to the hospital, really excited about meeting my midwife, and registering for childbirth class hopefully.. Only to find out that I was not on the list for appointments today.. :(
So I went for nothing. Plus transportation problems (no buses)..

I spent the last 2hours feeling sorry for myself and reading discussion forums :/

Is it sad that I need to post something to get some positive thoughts back? I guess I just need to talk to someone..

Anyway.
I am thankful for:
my friends who came visit yesterday.
Mr L. who is a darling
family nearby!!!!
a growing and kicking baby
a wonderful life in France ( I was looking at pictures and I can't believe this is where I live! )
no diabetes
no more money worries

So much to be thankful for and much more left unsaid..

The afternoon is not over yet, here are some things I hope to do before dinner:
make dinner! he..
walk at home program (just one or two slow miles)
gardening
ironing with some internet tv on
cross stitch maybe..

And I won't do the paperwork I had planned for today. I need a break. blah.

Artichoke heart

I don't know if this expression works in English, in French to have the heart of an artichoke means you change your mind a lot about things and people you love.. It's not very flattering, it means being inconsistent in feelings.
There are some things in my life that used to be passions, so important to me that I identified with them, and I thought that would never change.
But now I don't feel as strongly about it. People change I guess, passions come and go.
Here are a few things that used to be part of "me" and are slowly fading away:

- Cross-stitch.
I could not leave the house without something to stitch. I would use every single train ride to advance my projects. I made countless gifts and cute little things. I started a family tree for my sister, but now I can't do it. It's getting hard for me to get the colors. I used to actually see the colors outside and associate a DMC number to it!! I could tell if this blue was more a 3638 or a 974 depending on the amount of blue, yellow, red, and light in it. I had a Ellen Maurer Stroh password, actually I have most of her old freebies on my computer at home, now you need to register to access them..

- Vegetarian.
I was vegetarian for years. I could not digest meat and just the smell of it made me sick. I had no ideology of "poor animals" but my stomach simply could not handle meat. And one day it went away. I think it is probably due to my ankle problems, I took anti-inflamatory medication for years and it probably damaged my stomach somewhat.. I don't know for sure, just an hypothese.
Now I still love veggies, especially legumes. But I do enjoy a good steak :)

- Red Sox :)
Still love them!! :) But I haven't watched a game in a year! And that was a recent passion. But my first year in USA I could not get enough. I went to meet ups every week! It was so much fun! :)

- Books
I would read book after book after book. I still read a lot, but mostly non-fiction or very easy reads (like the chicken soup series or silly novels). I need to get myself a list of good reads because that is the one part of my life that I do miss :)

in the kitchen

This is where I am.
I spend my days there. I sit at the counter with my laptop and read stuff, or watch movies, this is also where most of the clean up happens. And sewing. And, last but not least: cooking.
I cook almost every meal, lunch and dinner. I can't remember how I did before. Mr L. was eating at work, and I was doing my lunch at home (we lived so close to my work). But I don't remember actually cooking for lunch... I don't know, I was probably making eggs or left overs or something...
Anyway nowadays we have healthy lunches and dinners. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I have to go back to the gorcery store almost every other day, we constantly run out of milk and vegetables.
Is there some kind of curse that once you are officially "stay at home" then your fridge empties itself before you have time to put the stuff away?
I also caught the weight watching curse. The moment we decided to watch our weight all I can think of is cheese, creamy dishes and cakes.
We had ginger carrot soup for dinner, with left over pizza (homemade anything is always healthy in my book) and it was creamy and spicy and good. But nothing like warm dark chocolate cake.

When I tried weight watchers I had an off-list. On that list I put everything I resisted that day.

Today I resisted:
-nutella with toasts for breakfast (had an apple instead)
-pan dulce at the supermarket (only 65 cts. but we are really stretching every dollar right now and cantaloupe were 39ct each at the other grocery store..)
-making (and eating) chocolate eclairs for Ste Therese feast (I read this is a tradition in some countries, I wonder where...)
-making banana brownies and chocolate cake (several times).
Giving in would be easier. But Mr L. started losing weight and I don't want to make him screw his nice progress.

I am dreaming of baking.
I wish I had a friend here, I could bake a chocolate cake and go over for a visit, and share the calories :)

This should be my motto: share the calories, share the love!

Boring post for Saturday

(this is Mary's blog)


It's Saturday. And I don't work. :)
This week end we are going to the German Fest. I learned German at school. I was doing actually fine, but I wasn't really fluent. I could read a text and talk about it. This was less than 10 years ago. Now I don't understand German! Well I do, but only written. As I'm (temporarily) unemployed, I want to get back to German. TV is a great way to learn a language. :) My grand father watches german TV, for futball and cooking. I'm not big on sports, so I could do decoration TV and cooking :)
I went to Germany twice. Once in Erfurt, Thuringe, when I was 13 or so. I spoke mostly French and English. It was my first year of German and I could not go beyond saying my name...
Then I went for the Youth World Day or World Youth Day a couple years ago, the year Benedikt XVI became pope. I was NOT thrilled about him. But the trip was awesome!! We didn't go straight to Koln, we went to Bayern first. I was in a parish called Baden something, close to Munchen. the people were amazing, friendly and a little old fashioned (wearing traditional clothes on week ends, drinking lots of beer and eating wonderful foods). I had such a great time!! I loved every minute of it.
Koln not so much, the crowd was just crazy. We saw the cathedral, where the Magi are honored. But it was just too overcrowded.
I'd love to become fluent in German, and go back there. We dream of a road trip in Europe, visit family in France, then take the road to Belgium, North Italy and South Germany, then back to France for more family, wine and fun :)

Yesterday I went to the library. I got a temporary card. I got out a book called "modern saints, their lives and faces" Modern as in 19th-20th century. They forgot Pier Girogio Frassati. But I found a cool one: St Gabriel Possenti. He kicked out about 20 armed soldiers invading his city. With a shotgun. I could totally make a pious image with the monk, holding the shotgun. ;) For a good cause! ah :)
Oh well it wa sjust funny to imagine. The soldiers were sacking the city, almost all inhabitant had left out of fear, and the few left were abused by those soldiers. He came out of the church, grab a gun from a dead body and told the guys to leave. Out numbered 20 to 1. Who cares? A lizard passing by stopped for a second, he shot him from so far that the soldiers got scared and ran away.
ah there is a pious image of him...

two even!

I like saints lives.

Now off to German fest, more boring posts next week!
(BTW the gunsaint website creeps me out..)

enjoying technology :)

I'm quite cautious about new widgets, fashionable technology that comes and goes and other cluttery friends. I lost my phone and the principal reason I miss it is for the time! I don't need a phone, I need a watch! Well I also miss to be able to call my parents anytime in the morning, or a friend..
Anyway my point is I look down on some machines, or maybe I was taught to do so (like if my parents and grand parents were secretly amish).
But this week I took a big step forward to my own generation: I used a dish washer!
And there is more to it: the dishes came out actually clean, and effortlessly. Even Mr L. volunteers to load the dishwasher! :)
I was probably the last Mohican under 30 to be unfamiliar with such a beauty of progress. Not anymore!
Look at me all technological and lazy! :)

home sweet home

Look at this beautiful place! Guess what? I live here!!!
kitchen (we even got place mat just because..)

the bedroom, no cardboxes in there. :) The bed is an air matrass. I put it up during the day to read comfortably but we take it down at night because it hurts Mr. L.'s back. I don't mind either way.

the home office: brand new desk and chair. It's crucial to have a working environment, DH is the only bread winner for a few months, and he works from home for now, so yes this was before the bed in the priority list..

and here you can appreciate the just-moved-in look: office (in DH's back)

and living room


I'm currently unemployed. I quit my job to move here, and my visa was depending on the work place. Thankfully I'm still legal, as I'm married with a citizen, but I can't work until I get an autorization, as in I can't work till I get a green card. Well I'd need to apply before anything can happen! :)
Just waiting for the next paycheck. It's amazing how much there is to buy for a new house! Stools, desk, chairs, bed, coach, tables, endless hangers and shelving systems... the list goes on and on.
Right now my top 3 are: bed, shelves, and a step/stool for reaching top shelves in closets. Well my top 2 would be the green card application actually, but it's not directly for the house...

As I'm unemployed my days are pretty free. I don't go out too much because I have no money to spend, and it's hard to not end up in home depot or the container store, lurking wonderful bookshelves or a multitude of tiny household widgets..

Today went by quite quickly, still I feel like I didn't do much! I cleaned and put away laundry and some stuff from various boxes (it becomes difficult to find a place for each thing as we are missing those shelves..) and I baked :)
I did 16 beans smoky soup and biscotti.

The biscotti have a story to it. First of all biscotti are good :) Especially with coffee. :) or tea :D
Then we had this huge pack of salted almonds that I didn't know what to do with (why I brought them in the move, I don't know) and last, but not least, I wanted to do something using the kitchen aid.

result: very nice! great taste, missing the almond extract but still very tasty :)
result on the kitchen aid: FAIL. So I tried to follow the recipe, using the kitchen aid to "stir" and "mix" together the flour, sugar and baking powder. Hmm it was way more complicated than using a regular fork, or whisk if you really have to be fancy! Oh well this was the ok part. Then came the almonds and eggs to add in the mix. The kitchen aid doesn't reach the bottom of its own bowl! So the top of the mixture was squishy and sticky and the bottom was intact flour!
I ended up mixing it with my old friend fork, and I finished the job by hands.
Kitchen aid didn't do much to get my favors. I just got more (heavy )dishes to wash.
Now maybe the attachements are a different story. Mr L. wants to make saussages. And that sounds like a good idea :)

For the almonds I simply washed them to get rid of saltiness, and put them in the oven for 10 min, then I mashed them in a bag, like this:

After baking a little bit I feel more at home. I also did a new batch of laundry detergent. I'm actually quite proud of it (so far). In the bathroom box I found this cute lavender soap that my mom gave us when we were in France. So I tried a lavender batch! :) I also added a couple drops of lavender oil to the mix. I does smell good. I haven't had a chance to try it yet, but soon hopefully :)


It feels weird to be home with not too much activity. I can't help thinking that if we had a kid I'd be begging for 1/2h of quiet to tidy up a corner.. But right now I feel pretty empty. :(
Reasons to rejoice I'm not pregnant yet:
- biscotti are great dipped in coffee :) coffee is good :)
- I moved about 35 boxes by myself all the way to the 3rd floor last Tuesday when Mr L was returning the truck. I'm glad I don't have to worry about miscarriage.
- We are so much more relaxed in here, even during a move! This puts chances up our way. :) And Mr L is so encouraging. When I'm feeling down (like the day I get my period, again) he keeps reminding me that we need to give it some time, all comes when the time is right.
crossing fingers. :)

Packing up

Coming back from Chicago. We had a great weekend! I didn't see the new apartment because there are still people living in, but I saw the neighborhood. It's QUITE a change. When we got back home in the bronx yesterday there was an helicopter circling the projects. Thankfully this is not every night, the Bronx has changed A LOT since the 70's. But I'm still happy to move to a more quiet neighborhood.
It's coming so soon! We're leaving the 27. 10 days left!
I did pack some stuff, but no more than 5 boxes so far. So much more to do!
In the process of packing we get rid of many things, and that feels GOOD!
:)
Kitchen clutter is my pet peeve. I love to have a few very good quality tools and keep them to a minimum. Like good knives. Mr L got excellent knives and I'm glad he did!
We also have a kitchen aid. But I can't figure out what to use it for. It's very useless to me so far. I dream of an electric beater, a simple one, easy to use in any bowl, easy to clean, easy to put away. The kitchen aid seems to be used for baking, like mixing dough, but when I bake I use a wooden spoon or spatula, or my hands. I think I just can't get over the HUGE heavy metal bowl.
Putting the kitchen aid in a box was a relief. I hope we leave it here and don't tke it out the box! ;)

Anyone has a kitchen aid? what do you use it for?

the escape way mystery...

On wednesday I go to Rikers for a sharing group. We read the readings of the upcoming Sunday and talk about it. It's a very good time for all.
Today I went, as every wednesday, but there was yet an other alarm and the whole building was shut down. Of course no one told me until I actually reached the building..
Anyway I wanted to share something much less spiritual. One of the first time I got on the island I noticed a pedestrian bridge across the bay, a straight line between Laguardia Airport and the outer fence of the parking outside of Rikers. It seemed a little weird to me..
Why would one build (or leave) a BRIDGE that goes STRAIGHT from the prison to the airport. I know New York City takes its pride in having the "boldest" officers, but that's a little pushing it, isn't it?
The bridge I'm so intrigued by is small, big enough only for one or two men standing together, made of wood or some other light construction material and it ends about 5 feets away from both sides. It's a bridge that goes from water to water, but SO close to both sides! It's fully equipped with lights. For security I guessed. My explanation so far was: hmm maybe because the island was a garbage deposit they did a direct bridge to get there from Queens... Then I don't know which one appeared first : prison or airport but they must have cut the ends of the bridge... But then why such a small bridge? And why just cut the ends, and not destroy it all?


See for yourself: above is a picture from a landing plane, where you can see the landing lanes (the long white straight line on the right, white is because of the snow on that day), and on the top right of it is Rikers Island (the whitish elipse).
Ok this is a bad picture but now you know what is where, and you won't think this one is quite as bad..

Once again you can see the long runways (like a big cross on the ground) and very close by you see the island.Now look closer, you should see both bridges.

here is my poor highlight of the thing... Green is the main bridge, the only access to Rikers by ground transportation. No pedestrian allowed, only buses, trucks and cars. In pink is the mysterious pedestrian bridge that starts and ends in water..

Such a mystery to me. I was making movies in my head.. have you ever seen The Rock, with Sean Connery? I could see some adventurous escape, with a tiny plane waiting on runway 4-22... tatada..

And last week my movie ended short. There was fog, the atmosphere was so humid and heavy. It was only 8AM. On the bus ride to Rikers it all came clear. While passing on the bridge above the narrow one I saw the lights on. Not regular security lights. Airport lights. This "pedestrian bridge" is a row of lights for the runway!!

LOL it's just the lights for the planes to visualize where to land when it rains, snows, fogs or more...
Oh well I had a couple good movies in the meantime. :)

Setting changes

Yesterday I changed the settings of this blog to "private". I don't think it's really necessary actually. I would love to have a less radical way to restrict access, like only people whose blogs I visit could see mine or some screening like publishing some posts to full public, and some with restricted access.

My number one concern is work.
I work in Abraham house. I'm so happy I can actually mention it now, without the fear that google searches will end here! :)
I need a place to vent my frustrations about work, but also share the good stuff, and there is plenty. I felt very limited in the past because I can't mention names or post pictures of people on an open access blog.
here are some beautiful pictures taken by Rachel Cobb. I recently discovered how much I like photography. I think Rachel Cobb is extremely gifted. These pictures have been taken in Abraham House. This tells you better than words about what happens here. We do have a description that tries to put words on it:
"Abraham House offers the incarcerated and their relatives a place of hope and community, where lives can be rebuilt, families mended, lessons learned, and men, women and children deeply marked by crime receive the spiritual, social and practical tools to become productive citizens."



My second reason is that this is more or less a diary to me and I talk about some personal stuff. My husband has access to this, but not my family or friends (they just never asked...) and that gives me some freedom to know that they won't come across it by chance.

My third reason is the pictures. I don't want to take the risk to see my pictures used without my knowing.

If there was any way to put SOME restrictions, without going paranoiac, I would chose that :)
So far the closest would be to click the " adult only" box.
But that would be sending the wrong message! LOL

I changed my profile so people can contact me by email to be added on the reading list. Unfortunately there is no automatic way to add readers, I need to send an email, so if I don't have your email... well you can't read that!

Anyway, all comments welcome. I may change my mind and register as adult only ;) TBC...

Blooming Bronx

Today I'm off.
We were out of milk so I went to the bodega next door to get some. But on the way I decided to go get flowers at the brand new Home depot. :) Long story short we planted a garden in the back yard, but it's not growing well and I would like to add some flowers before we move, so the house mates are not left with a backyard growing wild!
SO, I still went to the bodega to get my coffee, and off I go for my 15 min walk to the home depot.
The walk itself was surprisingly enjoyable. I live in the South Bronx, and despite a garbage can at every corner, it's full of trash, dirty spills and other yucky garbage juices.. BUT it all changed recently when they brought trees. NYC has a 1 million trees program and they planted trees EVERYWHERE. Any street now looks like a beautiful garden alley. It really change the atmosphere for the best.
And with the trees came more little birds :)
At the mall there were plenty superstore getting ready for opening. Most of them are scheduled for August. Only home depot and Target were opened. Oh my! Target, the magic word that made me lose track of why I came here in the first place...
The Target was empty of people, but full of so welcoming staff! In almost every aisle someone offered to help me :) And they had milk!! :)
And everything was correclty and respectfully organized, no humps of clothes under the racks, no mess in the food section, no one trying on products in the cosmetics. Such a good experience.
I got a cute teal dress and I looked a lot into the shoes. They had plenty of flats and heels, but nothing in between.. :( Oh well
I had a great time. I resisted buying a walk-at-home DVD and plenty of tempting foods.
I got freezer bags instead.
Freezer bags are my friends.
Yesterday we had spaghetti carbonara and there is left-overs. Now I can freeze it instead of reasoning: " oh I can't let it go bad.." :)

I feel very good today :) Looking forward to more time off in September!

Bastille Day quick takes

• My sister is gone, they went back to France yesterday night. The goodbye was fast. We looked for a car service and went negociating in the street in the afternoon. We found a nice cab driver who took them to the airport for 15 $ less than the other guys! So we asked him to be back at 5:30 PM. Then all in a sudden it was 5:20! So we started taking the luggages downstairs.. and the cab was early! So we just said goodbye like this. No time to be sad. :( But I was still sad afterwards...

• I also have to admit I was happy to be alone with Mr L. We had a fun dinner and watched Apollo 13, we've seen it so many times that we can chit chat a lot and not miss anything.. :) I love him bunches. I'm glad we are moving. I feel like we don't have enough time together, because our working schedule are different. But soon it will be over. :)
  

• Sunday we went to Connecticut with my sister and her family. We stopped by Cracker Barrel. She loved it. Her husband was very impressed with the breakfast.. There is such a home-sweet-home feeling in those restaurants!

Phil and I decided to get a rocking chair for the deck in Chicago :)

• Today is Bastille day. It's national day in France. Actually it doesn't commemorate the day when Bastille was taken down. That was July 14th 1789. I'm kind of proud and amused that our national day celebrate the end of a prison :) But in facts France chose 14th of July as national holiday in commemoration of July 14th 1790. It was "federation celebration" and it was a big deal, that really made the beginning of more democracy (as in constitutional monarchy!) So anyway that was before they cut the king's head off... When all one people gathered under one ideal. :) That's it for the did you know moment...
  

• In France I would go see a firework, and maybe dance at the firefighters' bal :) every small town have those, and they are good :) When you ask a couple how they met, the answer is frequently : " at the firefighters' bal" . In NYC we didn't go to the fireworks on July 4th, too much people... For July 14th maybe there is a firework somewhere, so many French live in this city! I'd have to look it up. Otherwise we're going for an evening pic nic with frenchspeaking friends :)

visits!!

My sister is coming to visit tomorrow!! So happy! She brings along baby and husband :D
I'm very looking forward to it! We got a little swimming pool for the boy, so he can play around in the garden and cool down from the sun..
I hope I'll get more energy soon. I still feel so weak. And old. Well I don't know how being old feels, but I think it must feel like this: being slower, general ache, bad joints..
Oh well it'll all go away soon.


I just watched "Little women" (1994) I really like this movie. When I was a teen I read most of Louisa May Alcott books. I just loved them. I read all Jo's March stories, AND the adults novels AND Rose and her Campbell cousins, AND my favorite: an old fashioned girl. I loved this last one so much... in french it's called " Dr March's god daughter". I wish it was made into a movie...
I hope someone will think about it some day. :)

hello bed..

the weirdest things happen to me...
Yesterday night my throat hurt. It has been on and off since April.. Anyway I woke up every other hour wondering if it was 8 yet, so I could go to the doctor.. At some point during the night I remembered Roal Dahl getting his tonsils cut by a norwegian doctor, without anesthesia or antiseptic... I looked at my nail clippers wondering if I should try myself. This is where I realized i needed help.
I decided to call in sick today and took an advill (advice curtesy of Mr L.) So helpful! I felt so good I could actually sleep! :) I woke up only at 9 AM. I was feeling good and figured there is no harm in playing hookey a little as I did have a bad night, and I don't take that many sick days..
Anyway I got super active in the house, cleaning, sweeping, extra laundry of sheets and towels. putting up lines to hang dry all those wet clothes in the sun..
I had an appointement at the doctor to see if there was anything wrong anyway, because it's been on and off for too long..
The doctor did some blood tests and looked into my throat. When she came back with results she said I had BOTH streps and mono. She asked if I noticed being tired lately!
She said she hadn't seen someone positive on both since she was in college. I felt... special.
I'm contagious so no kissing for 2 weeks.
As soon as I got out of the office I felt awful, I wanted to lay down and sleep right there in the street.
Is this psychological? As soon as I knew I actually have something, I FELT sick. Before it was just a sore throat and a little fever. Now I can't stand for 5 min without feeling faint...

The good news is I need to take some rest, and my house is super clean, so I can indeed take a break! :)

"A joyful heart is more easily made perfect than a downcast one."

Happy St Philip Nery everyone!!
I think Mr. L. has a perfectly fitting patron saint, the saint of joy :)

I went to mass this morning and got very distracted thinking about what to cook for diner, and if I should bring flowers for said Phil or not...
I decided to simply ask him, if he would be offended that I celebrate his saint, and he said " flowers are never offending" :) So off I go to get flowers!
About diner I don't know now yet, but I'll find something.

Work was fine, not too many hours today, just preparing papers for tomorrow and next saturday: retreat about the Holy Spirit for Pentecost. The gifts of the Spirit.

Tonight there is a meeting to talk about the garden somthing. Basically we register with sister R to share a basket full of veggies every week. :) Happy about it!
But I will be late because, you see, I dance on Tuesdays :)
Life is beautiful.

dedicated to Della, and all prams' lovers

Here is a special thought for you :)
I was in Manhattan the other day and came across this cute parking in a baby-shop...
Congratulations about the baby!



If you are not Della, or a pram-lover, I'd still like to introduce you to her very inspiring blog. I don't think there is that much people reading here, so I'm not afraid to make too much publicity...
I enjoy reading her comments on life, this one for example is a great example of her attitude, that I try to develop, and it really goes along with my desires and goals for life: success is to have victory over sin. :) It's a work in progress...
I also like her church's website, Brunstad, for its simplicity and straightforward message.
I've read an article once that accused it of being a sect, but from the very little I know about it I disagree. Strongly.
I like their teaching and articles and they are very acceptable to me, all Roman catholic that I am. :)

St Joseph !

Today is St Joseph's feast! I have a special affection for St Joseph... :)
Did I mention I was this close to become a sister in a tiny congregation, whose patron Saint is St Joseph? Well I should :) Sometimes I think about it on Wednesdays, but today is really special...
I went to EMC this morning, and later today we start a new approach for our teens, to talk about love, life and truth...

I have several small success for this week:
- I did several mini walks and it looks like it's becoming a morning routine, and randomly in the day when I'm sitting down at work.
- I went for a run yesterday, it was bright and sunny out and I went with my housemate :)
- I made more time for prayer, and try to focus on my "to-be" list more than ever
- I didn't waste time on internet while working.
- I cleaned my pile of books and clothes on the side of the bed, and I sorted out papers in the living room
- And did I mention I got the official paper transcript at the consulate, so we're, at last, married in France

more about EMC later. So much thinking going on in my head every Thursday...

7 quick takes Friday

1- Lenten resolutions:
My resolutions were:
-pray with consistency the complies. And if possible do it with DH.
- eat oatmeal for breakfast, no snacks and light dinners
-save money from outing and pick a charity to give it to
-no crap TV during lunch break
- + read the book of proverbs
well resolutions... lost somewhere...
-DH was gone for a week last week, and we haven't prayed together since!
- I eat oatmeal OR cheerios. ;)
- still not too much going out, only cheap places on Sunday. Last Sunday we went sushi, to celebrate Mr. L. coming home :) It may be a small donation anyway..
- no crap TV during lunch break. More or less kept this week. :) Only I turn on the TV in the afternoons sometimes (like around 5PM)
- book of Proverb 2 more chapter.
Actually this is not tooooooo bad.

2- Also I decided to spend more time with DH in the mornings, sometimes instead of getting up and going to church I stay home with him, cuddling and sleeping in.. It feels nice, it's a good time to be together and to start the day.
But I also realize how much I miss morning mass when I don't go for several days in a row. It's not that easy to be joyful and thankful... Also I go to a very private mass, just 5 people on big days, and there is no homely or anything, it's 20 min max, but we spend 10 min in silence before the last prayer, and that is a very good time for praying. :)
So now my next resolution would be to find a better balance between family life and morning mass!

3- I may work in the morning. For the afterschool program they could have tutoring at... 7:00 AM! The school is litteraly 2 blocks away from my house, and they kids are there anyway, waiting for school to start. Man, these are long days for the children!! We have them in the afterschool program from 2:30 PM to 6:00 or 6:30 PM. It's almost a 12 hours day! No wonder they are tired, impatients and not focused... I would do tutoring....hmmm I think I'll look into homeschooling ideas to make it fun. At least they could see it as a game :)

4- I lost 1 pound. Not much but still in the right direction. :) That's 5 pounds so far. :) 15 more to go! Today I saw a dermatologist (for my myriad of moles), I told her about the regular doctor telling me to lose weight, she said "oh yes, that would be good for you!!" Like duh! Yes you need to loose A LOT!
I was quite surprised.. I don't feel I'm that big... Sure I have some padding on the behind, but this is my personal reserve for winter and recession...

5- Tomorrow we go on with the art project. Finishing "Solomon Temple", and the sky, and a tree to hung all prayers... I'm really happy about it!

6- Thursday we start the discussion group with the teens. The teens in our program are awfully rude, disrespectful and crude. So we're going to give a try to the theology of the body for teens. Actually it's very broadly inspired, because we also want to include a lot about optimism, positive critism and responsabilities. These kids should be upset at all the injustice in the world, ready to rise and make a change, instead they are whining, complaining and insulting. Let's try something, can't get much worse right now. Sometimes all you need is a little thought provocation... Crossing fingers and praying hard!

7- I didn't report about EMC yesterday. I saw only one girl. We talked a lot (by we I mean she, I mostly listen and ask a few question to help her consider all options). And more than ever I try to follow 2 guide lines:
first Love. As simple as it sounds it's difficult for me to not look down at some people who make several poor decisions. It's very humbling to realize that I'm not better and to see how human and limited we all are...
second is that when you face a crisis-pregnancy, the problem is the crisis, not the child.
So I listened to that girl, and I pointed that out to her. Even if you get your abortion, what is going to happen? You're just going back to where you come from!
When her "boyfriend" found out she was pregnant he broke up with her. Good riddance. (I agreed). Her problem is that she has 2 other little ones and she has problem to have them cared for when she works. My point is that this new little one already helped her get rid of that awful guy, now he could also be a great motivation to find a better solution to her working and day care schedule..
As bad as your situation is, "terminating" the baby is not going to help you, it just sends you right back where you come from. Whereas as a pregnant woman you can get much more help, and you get the motivation to get yourself out of bad situation...
Sometimes I get really upset at some unknown entity called media, or "society", or "culture", especially when I hear a mom telling me how hard it is to get food for her children, and how difficult it is to pay the bills: rent, electricity, cable, cell phone, nails... I mean since when the last three have become necessities ? Seriously? Your nails are on the list BEFORE feeding your children???
waouh. Just waouh.

7 quick takes Friday

1-The little mouse
This is such a cute little girl... I really admire the mom's parenting style, I hope to be like that one day :) So her brother lost a tooth and the toothfairy brought him something. Now she found a peanut and wants to pretend it's a tooth, so the toothfairy will get HER something! :)


2-lonely-sick?
This week I was alone at home. I felt sick. I noticed when I work Sundays my husband used to be sick, and needed much comforting in the evening. I think same goes for me.. My sickness is just an other word for loneliness. Can you tell? I have been posting a lot more than usual!! :)
Mr. L. suggested it could be morning sickness. I really doubt it. But for a minute I was really happy about hte idea...
Sometimes I wonder if a baby would help me get over my laziness. You know someone to care for.. then I realize I already have a husband to care for, and if I'm lazy I'm obviously not caring enough... So I get up my behind and do just one small thing. It really helps me feeling better, and getting back to some activity.

3- home-sick?
again? kinda... I called my parents Wednesday, it felt good. I'm really looking forward to visit! My mom told me to take a Tylenol. well not really, she said "doliprane" because she doesn't know about Tylenol. Anyway I'm very reluctant to take any medicine, but I did. It didn't have much effect on me, but I was happy to listen to my mom's advice! LOL!

4- Lent resolutions

.... not so great........
My resolutions were:
-pray with consistency the complies. And if possible do it with DH.
- eat oatmeal for breakfast, no snacks and light dinners
-save money from outing and pick a charity to give it to
-no crap TV during lunch break
- + read the book of proverbs
This week:
-I did pray, but not with the hours. And DH was in Washington DC. He will be back tomorrow, but I work night, as well as Sunday... :(
- I ate oatmeal!! No snack hmmm well no bad snack, I had some bread or an orange every now and then...
Light dinners and everything else.. still trying to lose 20 lbs.
-the TV was my big defeat of the week. I got sick and lonely and used it as excuses to watch LOTS of HGTV.
- book of proverbs... I read a few more chapters. :)

I went to a Taize prayer yesterday again, so I guess it's my new assignment. :) I guess a ecumenical prayer is a better fit for our ecumenical couple :)

5- I got a jean at the thrift store!
I seldom wear pants...
<-- that's why. When I googled for this image (yes with the strict safe search on, thankyouverymuch) I found a book called "big thights, tight jeans" it express more or less my feelings about jeans.
I love skirts. Skirts are my friends.
And dresses!! Dresses allow me to be lazy and pretty. What's not to like??




6- Congratulations to Jen @conversion diary for her little baby! That reminds me of my cousin's son. I was there about 6h after his birth :) Such a tiny cute miracle. When you see those precious little hands reaching for yours.. awwwwww my heart is just melting.
WIth my husband gone for a week I forgot all our reasons for postponing baby :) I asked him to remind me.. I hope we'll have a nice talk about it, and we'll work out a way to make it possible soon. I can't wait to meet our children!!!

7- the 40 days for life campaign has started (with Lent). Tonight I'll take time to pray for this cause, and for parents who face infertility. I'm really saddened by the "pro-choice/pro-life war". I think both side are trying to defend women's right and what they believe is good.. but obviously only one side cares for the children too... Anyway I just pray that all this non-sense will stop some day. Because I realize how much the pro-life side is putting some people off against our own cause.. :( I'm so sad that some women are fighting for "pro-choice" without even considering the other side of the equation...



on this picture there are 2 legends, one at the head of the girl, the other at her stomach.
Both read: "my mom is going to kill me".

Do you have to choose between a good movie and an inspirational one?

I watched fireproof. i heard a lot about it and I wanted to see for myself.
To my own surprise, I liked it a lot.
Of course this is not the greatest movie ever, but I really really liked the style, the plot and the message. That was a good reflection of reality, with surprises, touching moments and the characters have some depth. (I said some).
I've read this very good review, and I agree with most of what he says.
I was surprised that the movie didn't seem pushy at all to me. It's obviously a "christian" movie, but I don't see why it's more shocking than a "mystery" movie. I think it's a genre of its own. The mystery movie involve a mystery to solve, the christian movie involve a value to defend.
I think fireproof does an excellent job in defending marriage. It's quite realistic. I see how a husband and wife can slowly drift away without even seeing it happen. And when they are apart they are "naturally" driven to divorce. It seems like a logical conclusion.

I see it all around everyday. Lately we received a new resident who has many problems. One of them is his relationship with his wife. They have only 4 years of marriage but they decided to divorce. When he picked up the papers he realized that was not going to be that easy (NY state laws doesn't allow divorce for irreconcilable differences). He was wondering why it's so difficult to get a divorce when it's so easy to get into a marriage...
I can't but agree with that. How come there is no preparation to marriage by the state? Only the church provides counseling and workshop... At least a list of recommended workshops and books would probably save some marriage.
During our marriage preparation I realized I had a communication problem. The preparation helped me express my feelings, and with some work on both parts I can safely say that we don't have big problems anymore.

Back to fireproof, the movie was partly criticized for mixing a conversion with the process of saving the marriage. And why not? I mean this is a fiction. And I think they're doing a very nice job at comparing the husband, complaining about his wife indifference, with God's love, rejected. I don't think it was that awful or repellent to non-believers. I think it explains very clearly the christian take on the world.

This being said I wouldn't call it the best movie of all times, but I really enjoyed it and it did its job to encourage me as a wife.

The website of the movie also promotes a book with tips to resuscitate your marriage. And why not? I mean every single movie comes out with side products, like Mc Donalds toys and books, so why not a fireproof book of advices?
And if it can help some couples.. all the better!

I mean come on people, stop critizing beyond reason. You can complain about the poor acting of some characters, or about the previsibility, but don't complain that the movie conveys a message, every movie does!
You don't want to hear it? Then don't watch it!
(for example I have no interest in watching facing the giants, or Marley and me.. )

One more review on the movie, which sounds a very fair one to me.
Have you seen Fireproof? What did you think of it?
(I've seen it on megavideo, but I'd gladly go to a theater!)

Also if you're looking for marriage tips I would recommend reading Chapman's the 5 languages of love, and trying out this website.