"This is my beloved Child.."

..is what God said to Jesus at his baptism, and what he says to each one of us at our own.

Our baby Corbinien has been baptized Saturday night during mass. It was very beautiful and touching.
He was fussy for the first half of the service but he then fell asleep and it made it much easier for the actual baptism!





What does baptism changes?
Honestly I believe my baby is a child of God whether baptized or not.
I believe he can be a good person without it and he can be part of the universal church without it.
That's just my opinion.

Here is what happens during a baptism and makes the difference:
- rejecting Evil.
The very first step during the celebration is to reject Evil. As the baby is too young the priest asks us parents and godparents if we are willing to reject the evil in our lives. For me this is a good reminder of that daily struggle we all have. Publicly aknowledging that this struggle exists is already great, on top of that we all commit ourselves to fight our own struggles.
- receiving the water.
A sacrament for the catholics is a sign of God's presence and action in our lives. The sacrament of baptism cleans us from the original sin (which is to doubt of God's good will and love for us). The grace of the sacrament is a strength that helps us in our daily struggles.
As parents and god parents we commit ourselves to help the child remember his baptism, that is to remember that God is love, and only love.

All sins have roots in the belief that God doesn't care or doesn't want the best for his children.

I don't care if my kids don't send thank you notes after their birthday, if they know that God is loving and they are happy to be alive I'll consider it a successful education ;)

-receiving the unction
the baby is anointed with holy oil, he receives his call as "priest, prophet and king" .
The priest honors God, the prophet lives according to his beliefs not according to what people will say and the king is responsible. That is just a basic line to understand this call.
-receiving the light
"you are the salt of the earth", to be sent in the world as a witness of God's love for humankind.


To sum it up (maybe more clearly) I think the baptism makes a difference because it engages the new christian in the community and in the world around him.
Baptizing a newborn then makes sense as his parents and godparents engage themselves to raise him in this prospective.

receive the gift of Faith

We are celebrating the Holy Spirit for Pentecost. There are very few celebrations for the Holy Spirit unfortunately..
We also celebrate the begining of the Church, as the disciples started spreading the word after they received the Spirit.
There are two versions of the event one is in John chapter 20 and the other is in Act, chapter 2.
But there is also this mention of the Spirit in Luke 4:

He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

I don't have much time to comment but I just wanted to share that in celebrating the holy Spirit we celebrate the incarnation of the Word. We ourselves are called to let the Spirit speak through us, we are called to receive the Spirit, and be part of the body of Christ (the Church).
Let's take it seriously and make sure we do our best with every little moment we have to show how much love God really is.

Christ is Risen Alleluia!

We went to mass yesterday, it lasted 2h30 according to my watch, about 15 min to me!
We begin with a fire outside, the priest read a short introduction of the 3 adults that were receiving baptism that night, he was very welcoming. People form different parishes came to light up the yearly candle. Then everyone goes in and lighten up candles, it's the only light in the church (well except for one for the readers and one for the singers).
Inside the celebration begins with the "Economy of Salavation" these are 7 readings and psalms telling the story between God and men from the creation on. Most churches reduce it to 4 readings. It was the case at my parish. I think 4 is plenty because not that many people listen that long anyway, but oh isn't it wonderful? To be reminded of the whole story.. One of the skipped reading is Isaiah 54: 5-14 where God is sadden by the unfaithfulness of his people, like an unfaithful wife, and how he will protect her and restate her in her beauty.
I was so proud because I was asked to do a reading! Ezekiel (36 especially 18 to 28) which completes perfectly the one mentioned above (even if it wasn't read aloud it's in the missals so some people probably read it...What? me naive?)
After the readings of the Old testament is the first high point of Easter:
the lights turn on as we sing the gloria.
Catholic services are said to be boring and desincarnated, but really catholicism is the most sensorial religion I know, well maybe orthodox churches win.. But really it's so moving and symbolic how we go from dark to light, from readings about salvation to REJOICING about it!! :)
After the gloria we have one more reading; St Paul about the baptism, and a psalm, and second high point of the evening: The bells ring! It was 10pm in my church when the bell rang, the priest took a break to listen to them. You could tell he was happy :) I like this priest. And right after the bells we sing the Alleluia, first since the begining of Lent..
Then comes the Gospel, sermon, prayers..
I mean obviously the Gospel is also a high point; but on Easter night I especially enjoy those moments that we have only once a year..
Then came the liturgy of the Baptism for the adults. It was very beautiful but it would be very long to describe step by step.
Then the Eucharist, always a high point ;)
and before I knew it it was over!

I also got to hold Mr L.'s hand all along.. :) Does it count as high point too? ;)

Easter Vigil is my favorite part of Easter. later today( it's early sunday morning for me) we are going to my parents' place to celebrate with a good meal and egg hunt for the kids.. I wish I could share my enthusiasm about the evening with everyone, especially my little god son :) We'll see..

catholic 101- the bishop. Who's that guy?

Click on the picture to find more catholic 101 stuff :)
Today I want to tell you about bishops.
In the catholic church hierarchy is very important. It is also a HUGE turn off for most of our protestant brothers. One day I'll do a 101 about the hierarchy and why IMO it makes sense. But for today let's start with just the bishop, his role, his meaning..

The word used in the gospel is episkopos, epi means above, over and skop is the root for watching, looking.. So the bishop is originally the one who watches over.
Just like Jesus asked Peter to watch over his sheeps, the bishop is the one who watches over a group of Christians.
He is in charge of the spiritual life in the diocese, and also the material management.
He is the one dealing with all real estate of the area (=churches, rooms, monasteries?).
He makes sure the tradition of the church is taught and respected within the diocese, this is important so there is some consistency throughout the world or so.. There is one creed, one catechism, and not one per city/country etc.

Now I choose this topic because I particularly LOVE my bishop here in Evry.

-I had the chance to hear him several times and he is a good preacher, the kind of person who makes you want to learn more, pray more, love more etc. :) In the early church only the bishop was preaching, because they were the guardians of the faith. But that was in the earliest centuries of the church..

-He deals with finances. And that's quite a burden during such a crisis, both of the faithful and for the economy..

-He is in charge of the repartition of the priests. Real tough when they are all getting old... He is also organizing synodes, teachings, programs...

-He delivers sacraments. Only bishops can do the ordination of priests and the confirmations (except on Easter when priests can do it too).

-The bishop also gives a special direction to his diocese. Some are more old fashion, some are more oriented towards social justice or evangelism..


Our bishop here has some clear priorities:
social justice :he always spend one celebration of Christmas or Easter in jail, he set up a specific emergency help for undocumented people
divorced catholics: there is a group working on a status for divorced catholic, to get some kind of blessing for remarriage. This is a hot topic in the catholic church. The bishop is NOT going against the tradition/teachings, or the Pope, but working on going forward from what the gospel teaches, offering propositions on how to better integrate people who could feel rejected. There are several groups of divorced catholic around the diocese. I hope to talk more on this an other day...
vocations/youth: our diocese is one of the rare to still have priest being ordained every year or other year..
dialogue with other religions: lots of work done here with local synagogues and mosks.

That special touch is precious I think, it's the wealth of the church to have diversity AND unity.

What I do for my bishop (and you can do too!):

-pray! :) When I was biking a lot I would offer up the long way up the hill. SO hard! But I would offer it up for him because it was nearby the cathedral..

-go to church, we all pray for him at every single mass (eucharistic prayers mentions both him and the pope... along with all priests)

-donate/tithe

-write him a Christmas card. Or Easter. :)

-send suggestions/comments if you have some. Positive comments and constructive suggestions. You may be surprised by how much you can change just by doing this..

Choosing a godparent

Even though baby isn't here yet we are thinking about godparents..
Official definition from the church: someone "who will help the baptized to lead a Christian life in harmony with baptism, and to fulfill faithfully the obligations connected with it"


Ideally we'd have a Catholic one and a Presbyterian one. So they can each help us to pass down our faith.
In reality it is difficult to find a godparents who matches our desires for our kid.

Here is a description of what I would like for a godfather/godmother to be:

-someone who will be present in the child's life. Seeing each other at least once a year. Sending cards for Christmas and Easter, and Name's day or birthdays..

-someone who has a solid spiritual life, knowledgeable about their beliefs. Willing to talk about faith with a growing kid. Maybe giving religious gifts such as a Bible, an icon, a spiritual book...

-someone who is involved in the community, in their family, in their church, to be a role model when the time comes.

-One more role I think very important would be during teenagehood. I'd like a god parent to get more involved at this point, to help answer the youth questions and give him/her direction at a time when she/he will not want to talk with mom and dad.

What I don't expect from a Godparent:

-being the tutor if we were to both pass away.
First of all I hope for several kids, and for them to be raised together! I'd rather choose someone the kids know well and who lives nearby... we'll see.
And simply it's not what the godparent signs for.

-giving money and toys.
Money can be great around teenagehood, but I'd rather the godparent take my kid for a week in their house and do something together!
Toys, please no!

For now we know the godmother will be my sister. It's a family tradition I guess. I don't really question it. She is clearly not practicing, BUT I think she will be a good godmother according to most of my criteria anyway..
For the godfather we don't know yet. We don't know enough Presbyterian guys, or not well enough to ask.. The plan would be to start attending a protestant church around here, and meeting with people from the "parish", and we'll see by July if we have anyone in mind..
Otherwise I don't mind if there is only one godparent for now. I suppose we can always ask the pastor to advice someone. Or we could also wait for the confirmation..

A welcoming church

Welcoming is an understatement.
Saturday night we went to church in the next village, Lardy. Church in France is a little complicated sometimes. There is a big lack of priests (and people!) so they share several churches under the name of "parish groupment". In my parish groupment we can have mass in our village once a month, or every other week (I think). But the next village is bigger, so they have mass every Saturday night.
Last time we went to our village, a Sunday at 11am, and it was really sad and boring.
Thankfully we don't go to church for entertainment.
But it does help when you feel alive a little bit.

Anyway that last time a lady approached us because she noticed we spoke english, and she adviced us to go to Lardy because there was an irish couple there, and they have music in the church.
When we arrived Saturday night the same lady was there, she came right to us and said how happy she was to see us again :)
After mass she offered to introduce us.
So we met the "Irish" couple, who are actually British, and their children. And the French couple who leads the music. And they invited us right away to have a drink in their house!
As I didn't take alcohol we talked a little bit about pregnancy, hospitals and ob-gyn. I felt very reassured to meet so soon people who can help me with that!
It was great. We stayed about an hour talking and introducing everyone. They are all very big on music so Mr L. is very welcomed to join the group with his guitare. :)
Yesterday there was a blues concert in a tiny local pub. We went but it was really crowded and loud. We could barely pass the door. But we met the French couple again, and they invited us to have a drink in their home. I am very pleased that we met those people. I think it is a great model for us because I don't know that many people with an open house like this. I know my parents are welcoming, but they are not this spontaneous! And I like to know couples who are a little older, whose children are teenagers and who we can look up to for raising our own kids.
I love my cousins but I am not sure we have the same priorities for our kids...

Wow 2 invitations in 2 days!! This is a welcoming parish or I don't know!!

Catholic 101- the Our Father (the one I read today)

Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

This is a post of basics in the Catholic Faith, you can see more on Dawn's website.

This is probably the most famous prayer, said by all Christians through the world.
When I was teaching CCD though I realized most kids didn't understand a word of it. Which is VERY sad.
Jesus taught us this prayer so we don't "repeat like pagans" but unfortunately by keeping the words of older versions of the Bible, we make it impossible to understand in today's language.
Here is the paradox:
we keep the old wording for the unity of Christians,because this is how Jesus taught us and so we don't fall into many many silly and incorrect versions
BUT we end up repeating words that have no real meaning to us.

In CCD I explain each line to the kids,we read text from the Bible that use similar wording to develop each line, then we come up with "our version" that we read during a few weeks of meetings.
And every time we have CCD we end with a prayer where we say the Our Father the way Jesus taught it. It's still repeating words but by now it makes more sense to them.

Our Father
= Father who is only Love, father who is good to no end, father who is so misunderstood..

Who art in Heaven
= God is not in things, or in one place, he is everywhere, he is where love is

Hallowed be thy name.
=may we understand who you really are, may people know you and praise you

Thy kingdom come.
=May we work hard on it! The kingdom of God is there when we pay attention to the smallest.

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
= YOUR will, not mine. Help me to be aware beyond what I want for ME now, and help me to see the plan you have on things

Give us this day our daily bread.
=give us what we need for today

And forgive us our trespasses (or debts)
= forgive our mistakes, our denials and all the "no" we say to your will each day

As we forgive those who trespass against us (or our debtors)
= teach us to forgive for real, not just in words, teach us to not hold grudges

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
= God doesn't lead us to temptation, but we can still ask him for special awarness of what is a danger for our souls.

Amen.
=litteraly means: " a foundation on which I stand. I agree with it. It's a rock." :)

The links take you to texts from the Bible which, I think, help understand the wording of the Our Father, and how Jesus' whole life is teaching us to pray.

catholic 101- Vatican II VERY simplified

Vatican II is the name of a council of the Catholic Church.

Please note that what follows is MY take on Vatican II, as a young French catholic girl who is obviously biaised to like it.


A council is when all bishops come together and discuss a topic to redefine the direction of the Church. An other word for council is synode from the greek Syn- Odos which means together-way (a "shared path" "common direction" or something similar).
Vatican II was started in 1962 by Pope John XXIII. It is a turning point in the XXth century for the Catholic church, and in my opinion (and of many others) we are not done discovering how much good can come out of this council.

The main change brought by Vatican II is a lot of secularisation (meaning bringing things up to date, living with the century).

In liturgy:
Before: Mass was in Latin, the priest was turned away from the parishionners to celebrate, the churches were full in Europe but few people knew about their faith and lots of practice was motivated by social pressure.
After: Mass is said in the local language, the altar has been moved and turned so the priest can face the parishionners (like Jesus didn't turn his back to his disciples at the Last Supper). Lay people get a lot more participation: readings, songs are more liberally used in liturgy, lay people are involved in several services to assist priests (like CCD, preparing with families for funerals, weddings...)
There is also the possibility of ordaining married men as deacons.

Along with Vatican II came changes in demography, who knows which provoked which.. but there has since been a decline in vocations in Europe (=less priests) and a lot of desertification in churches, but many of my older friends at church say that the people attending now actually understand and know something about their faith.

In theology Vatican II is an amazing opening of mind and spirit. Vatican II contains many founding texts such as Lumen Gentium, Dei Verbum and Gaudium et Spes (along with many others).
I know especially of Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope) which is a major text about Church in the world. It contains lots of social justice, human dignity and interreligious dialogue topics. Among other memorable lines I know this one : " The Holy Spirit offers to each man, in a way known from God only, a way to be united with the suffering, death and ressurection of Jesus Christ". Which means in other words that, despite holding the Truth, the Catholic Church recognizes that there are ways of salvations outside of her. Karol Wojtyla (soon to become John Paul II) participated actively in the writting of Gaudium et Spes.


Now one last thought about "Tradition".
As you may know the Catholic Chruch relies on "Scripture and Tradition" (as oposed to Sola Scriptura in the protestant world). Tradition means what the centuries taught us about the Bible, all the patristic, all the saints who read it before us and shaped our way of relating to the scriptures and to God. So Vatican II is part of the Tradition of the church, a huge part I'd say.
BUT some catholic people are nostalgic of a pre-council time when mass was in latin, with much more ceremonial around it. They are also denouncing abuses of Vatican II reforms (like mass celebrated almost without care or dignity ; and honestly I have seen some... ) And they call themselves "traditionalist". Our current pope pleased them with autorizing an exceptional rite for mass to be the one of before Vatican II.
But if you look closely the most extreme of them are NOT traditionalists, litterally, because they reject part of THE Tradition, to cling on their memories of childhood and a golden age that existed only in books.

Again I just give my understanding here, which is basically limited to France and USA.

I don't care about "Jesus' birthday"

I am so excited about Christmas!
Not only for the lights and smells and decorations and cards and foods and smiles and songs and all.. More than this I love Christmas for its meaning : the birth of Jesus.
But I don't care about Jesus' birthday. The first time I heard this expression was on american TV. I thought that was very American, I immediately had the image of a baby boy with the hat and cupcake in mind...
Where I come from we don't celebrate Jesus' birthday, we celebrate His incarnation.
And there is a world of a difference in my mind. (but yeah sometimes I'm snob about american expressions..)

To me the meaning of Christmas is one of the two basic pillars of my faith, it can be summed up in two words: God cares.
(my other pillar is "God is love")
God cares, and that rocked my world upside down. Everything else all in a sudden makes sense, becomes meaningful.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Jn 3:16


In other words God cared so much about humans and wanted to rescue them from their misery, he was so concerned and caring that he became one of us.
And he didn't simply came from heaven all glorious and powerful, he did the whole human thing, starting like everyone with just a few cells in a woman's womb. He had to learn to talk, to use the restrooms, to walk and use tools, he had to be sick, sad, happy.. the real deal.

Here is one little story I like (Luke 16, 19-31)

The Rich Man and Lazarus

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores."The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.' "But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.' "He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.' "Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

Like the rich guy it is tempting to expect big miracles, apparitions and crazy manifestations.. but where would be our freedom to believe. Plus actually it did happen " if someone rises from the dead"..And we are still inclined to ask for more miracles and manifestations... I like the humor in this verse..
I think incarnation is the biggest miracle. Because after God became man we cannot say " God, if he exists, doesn't care about us". He cared so much he even prepared a people to receive the good news! Over thousands of years!
Easter sounds just obvious after this, how so much love could not beat death itself?

I love Christmas readings, especially the beginning of John's Gospel:
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning.Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth "

The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood.
The bible is a long love story. The story of God who loves men, and men misunderstand, over and over again. They keep making idols and rejecting who God really is. Because it is just easier to make up your own idol that to live up to God's expectations for you : love with all your heart. Not quite an easy task..

Anyway. Christmas is for me a wonderful time to remember. Remember what my faith is based on, remember what really matters in life. " the word became man, and he dwelled among us, and we have seen his glory"
I think the moment we believe we are touched by grace, because God cares and it changes everything. This is the glory we see. :)

Have a happy Christmas, and rejoice in the peace that transcends all understanding :)

the problem with religion... and with humanity in general

Prejudices and stereotypes. They are everywhere. I feel like I can't escape it.
We tend to generalize stereotypes from personal experiences, especially from bad experiences. For example I have very bad experience with paperwork, so I usually have a bad a-priori against administrative staff. I am sometimes pleasantly surprised though :)
As the years pass I am getting fed more and more stereotypes, especially about religion. Where I come from religion is not a big deal. Some people take it seriously and follow their traditions, others don't have beliefs, it's a peaceful (somewhat ignoring) coexistence, as far as I've seen it. In the USA I feel much more passions going on. I came across some people whose mission in life is to tell you that Jesus Christ died for you. I also met some people whose mission is to wake you up from all the lies of religion. Both sides are fed with stereotypes of the most activists in the opposite side...
All this introduction to get to my recent inner conflict. I have to admit I love the magazine "Above Rubies". I really love reading it, but there are many articles on which I disagree. I appreciate so many others, and I am very glad to be able to read that kind of encouraging material. For me it is very bold.
Basically it's a magazine to praise women as wives and mothers and give advices, inspiring stories, tips and recipes for everyday life.
Where I have a problem with it is the "mission" part. I love that magazine but I take and leave. I don't take it as a way of life. I don't think every woman in the world should marry, have children and stay at home. Unfortunately my magazine seems to have opinions about it. And it bothers me.
But hey isn't it the same with Cosmo? Or Marie-Claire? Where every woman is supposed to have a lover at least once to spice up things, or to have a shopping session every month and 5 colors of nail polish in her bathroom...
Just different applications of stereotypes.


Anyway I was reading ahead for mass today and I came across this:
"Jesus said to his disciples:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’
will enter the Kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven."

Sometimes we are tempted to follow the letter more than the spirit, to get so involved in details about what we should look like as followers of a specific religion, that we are at risk to forget the spirit behind it.
When I see people who are strong in their faith I tend to admire them, not so much for their practice, but for the wisdom and love that seems to glow around them.
And this is the important thing, not what they wear, or their morning routine, what matters at the end of the day is to do all things with love.
It's not because someone says "Jesus, Jesus" in every sentence that they are going to be better persons. I think there is more love in refusing to judge someone than in distributing food at the soup kitchen.

This is my wish for this year (hey it's advent so it's somehow the new year):
to not say negative comments about people.
They are very easy to escape my attention, even if it's only about looks or pretentious people, who knows what they are going through..? I'll say nothing, something positive or something non-judgmental. I think nothing is safer :)

This is probably a very confused post, and I'm sorry that I can't get more clear.. I'm working on it.

Boring posts for Saturday

I haven't been to church in two whole weeks. Well, almost. We went only on Sundays. I think since I have been a practicing catholic it's the first time that I don't go at least once or twice during the week. And I really miss it. I need to tough it up next week and try a little harder. I will probably go back to my "old" church. The plan was to get to a different parish to see if I can get involved or find a prayer group, but as we are moving in less than 3 months it doesn't matter too much now if I can get involved or not.
My main obstacle is that I don't feel super good in the mornings. I NEED to eat, but then digestion takes forever in a painful way.. And the church is 25 min walk away. :( I could look into easy digest foods though. That could be really helpful for me right now. I think soup is easy on the stomach, isn't it? And I love soup.
I aslo crave fruits first thing in the morning, but that may explain my stomach cramps afterwards.. How fun is that when your old buddy brother donkey becomes a total mystery? What will be the side effects of a banana? An apple? Ah the suspense never ends...
But really I'm just so happy. :)
As we will be moving at some point, we decided to explore Chicago as tourists would do. Today we are going for hot dogs AND chicago style pizza. Hot dogs is not my favorite right now, what appeals to me the most is the slice of tomatoe on top.. But I'm sure once there I will feel better about it.
Chicago style pizza is some wonderful dish, that not everyone would qualify as pizza. I love those stuffed with spinach and grilled onions. YUM!!
We may also go to the lake. Can you believe we've been there only once since we moved?! Or maybe take a tour in the gangster bus... And all of that served with lots of walking.
Or walking shoes are probably the best investement we've made so far! :)

More boring posts on Mary's blog. ;)

Boring post for Saturday

I haven't posted in a while.. This idea of boring post for saturday is great, I can just type whatever goes through my mind.
This week end we don't have plans. I hope whatever we'll do will involve some walking out in the parks. Mr L is playing video games. He recently got a new one and spend most of his free time playing it. It's fine with me as long as we get some time out together. It's the kind of game with a story, so at some point it will be over. :)
I will go to a different church this afternoon. I am so sad about my parish, maybe I'm just emotional but I went yesterday night for a teaching and the lady at the reception desk was so rude/mean/clueless that I don't want to go back there.
I have been going for 2 months, almost everyday to Our Lady parish, and yesterday night it dawned on me that I don't know ANYONE. I know the priests, because well they're easy to spot. But there is not a group that I can join to get to know people. I left my number to 6 different people to do anything to help, or just get involved in youth group or what have you, and I haven't been contacted. Every time there is an announcement for a teaching, a group or whatnot the information is wrong, or incomplete, and the reception desk people are just plain rude. I'm done trying.
I really liked the sermons there, but I need some form of community. I just can't go to a church just to sit there during mass and move on with my life as if it's some kind of movie that I just watch on a regular basis.

Otherwise I went to the gym again. Did I mentioned I am now a happy member?
I did a few classes, but there is way too much jumping around for my taste. Thursday I went to "stretch and tone". The room slowly filled with older happy members (which is a very good sign for me) and everybody took a huge ball, sat on it and started bouncing around. Oh I loved this class!! I am going back. At the end they changed the music for birds songs and turned off the lights. It was really neat. And 2 people talked to me. A lady even introduced herself. Yay!! :)
I also had a fitness evaluation. Well I did excellent in stretch. I am so proud. the excellent category starts at 16, and I did 19! (inches of stretch).
Otherwise hmm not so good. It was silly, all categories ranked from low to excellent and I was mostly average.. except in stretch :) and in... weight!! I scored high! well don't rejoice too fast. Scoring high in weight is not a good thing. It took me a few minutes to understand.. the guy was gently laughing.. oh well. :)
I'll go again Monday to learn how to use the gym equipements.

Rosary woes

I tried. But there is something about the rosary that I don't get.
I like to actually hold something that reminds me I'm supposed to do "pray-time only" (and not, say, "cook and praise").
I think the idea of mysteries is genius. Never run out of a text to reflect upon. And there is endless graces you can ask for, endless examples to look up to and imitate.
I like St Mary as a model of patience, hope and love.
I understand the idea of intercession.

What I don't get is the repetition of Hail Mary. 10 times, times 5! Why?
Is that supposed to keep you focused? Or to keep track of time?
Why does it sounds like a race when said in Spanish or Portuguese?
Whenever I go to a recitated rosary I can't help but think of that verse where Jesus says: " when you pray, don't repeat like pagans..."
I do have a rosary in my purse, but I can't just repeat on and on. I spend more time on the mystery than on the serie of "hail Mary".. But then I feel superstitious, thinking if I don't say 10 in a row, I'm being disrespectful or something...
Ah it's so easy to make your life complicated!

So my new parish had a novena, ending tonight with mass and shared snacks. But I won't go. I went to exactly 4 evenings (out of 9) every other night or so. The first one was great. We spend 20 min in a sharing group. But it went worse and worse to me. I was bored out of my mind, feeling bad and discouraged. The worst I think was the litany. I just don't get it.
I love the litany of saints for ordinations, when we ask for the intercession of saints. I like to think about all those people who lived holy lives, yet being so unique, so full of life, really humans, not angels or emotionless..
But the litany of the names of Mary is just painful, it goes on and on and I can see it being a beautiful reflection about all the meaning she carries. But read aloud in Church, as fast as humanly possible, doesn't make it any inspiring.

Well there are many ways to pray. I think the rosary is not one for me!
Do you pray the rosary regularly? What keeps you going?

Boring post for Saturday

(this is Mary's blog)


It's Saturday. And I don't work. :)
This week end we are going to the German Fest. I learned German at school. I was doing actually fine, but I wasn't really fluent. I could read a text and talk about it. This was less than 10 years ago. Now I don't understand German! Well I do, but only written. As I'm (temporarily) unemployed, I want to get back to German. TV is a great way to learn a language. :) My grand father watches german TV, for futball and cooking. I'm not big on sports, so I could do decoration TV and cooking :)
I went to Germany twice. Once in Erfurt, Thuringe, when I was 13 or so. I spoke mostly French and English. It was my first year of German and I could not go beyond saying my name...
Then I went for the Youth World Day or World Youth Day a couple years ago, the year Benedikt XVI became pope. I was NOT thrilled about him. But the trip was awesome!! We didn't go straight to Koln, we went to Bayern first. I was in a parish called Baden something, close to Munchen. the people were amazing, friendly and a little old fashioned (wearing traditional clothes on week ends, drinking lots of beer and eating wonderful foods). I had such a great time!! I loved every minute of it.
Koln not so much, the crowd was just crazy. We saw the cathedral, where the Magi are honored. But it was just too overcrowded.
I'd love to become fluent in German, and go back there. We dream of a road trip in Europe, visit family in France, then take the road to Belgium, North Italy and South Germany, then back to France for more family, wine and fun :)

Yesterday I went to the library. I got a temporary card. I got out a book called "modern saints, their lives and faces" Modern as in 19th-20th century. They forgot Pier Girogio Frassati. But I found a cool one: St Gabriel Possenti. He kicked out about 20 armed soldiers invading his city. With a shotgun. I could totally make a pious image with the monk, holding the shotgun. ;) For a good cause! ah :)
Oh well it wa sjust funny to imagine. The soldiers were sacking the city, almost all inhabitant had left out of fear, and the few left were abused by those soldiers. He came out of the church, grab a gun from a dead body and told the guys to leave. Out numbered 20 to 1. Who cares? A lizard passing by stopped for a second, he shot him from so far that the soldiers got scared and ran away.
ah there is a pious image of him...

two even!

I like saints lives.

Now off to German fest, more boring posts next week!
(BTW the gunsaint website creeps me out..)

aw... :')

My little kids on their first communion day :)
I finally found pictures!!

I must admit I have a favorite, or two .. :) This little girl on the right is so sweet!!


and he could be my second favorite.. :)

aw some kids I won't forget that fast... :)

if it's not my way, it's not good enough...

yes, that's more or less what I was thinking during Pentecost mass today... :(
We just had a retreat at work, for families and people of the community, and everyone was happy about it. But I was already dismissing the benefits of the day judging on people's faces. During the "sharing time" many people looked bored.
It was quite long indeed...

Anyway, I shouldn't decide that people are bored because they don't look radiant and transformed.
I was started a little monologue starting with " if I could really prepare a retreat here I would do this and that and prepare this way and ask him and her and blablabla..." then the monologue turns into some crazy " and people would really understand this verse and it would make sense for them, and it would change their lives like it changed mine..."
and later on the monologue went " but THEY wanted to do as usual, if THEY don't want to change anything of course it's not going to make a difference.."

blabla ranting..

At some point I realize those were not very positive thoughts and that there was probably something wrong with ME...
And I remembered I hadn't eat since 9 AM... Yes, I'm this bad when I need food...

Anyway I also remembered that it's not all about me, and it doesn't really matter the way we present things during a retreat, and if some parts are boring, oh well, most of it was fine, and some people shared very deep reflections, and were very touched by the verses we selected, we as a team :)

We celebrate Pentecost this week end: the coming of the Spirit, the beginning of Church. Sometimes I wish everyone would just realize how amazing it is to just believe in God. Then to just imagine for a minute that God cared so much that he BECAME human. I would love to share that... But it's not up to me to decide that they will understand or even listen.
There was a fun post in conversion diary the other day about the tow-truck driver. It's not all about me sharing what I believe, well this time it's maybe about me learning, and getting new perspectives in my faith. Or maybe it's just about respecting God's timing, which is not always the one we want.

I have a very big love for my parishes (wherever I am) and I pray for the example of St Jean Vianney, who transmitted God's message so well that his whole parish was transformed.
I have ambition for my parish you see, and I have high expectations from pastors...
So I guess my hungry grumpiness and my ambitions teamed up to discourage me.
ah! the never ending work of fighting self-pity...
When I should be really happy indeed, because it was a nice day of sharing and learning. I had the children and we prepared a nice poster about the pentecost and the gifts of the Spirit. I could use some of those gifts! (wisdom, courage, piety...)


The Holy Spirit is called "Father of the poor" because it can let the spirit of poverty be born into your heart. That's what I ask for today, a spirit of humulity and poverty.
Humility that frees you..

roses in our lives

Trying to get into the habit of posting short but frequently...
I wish I would take time to journal instead of using the internet, but I realized I like getting comments, and linking things together with URL :)

Anyway. On wednesdays I go to Rikers for a praying group with a few inmates.
Rikers is an island, with only prison-buildings, each circled with many wires and walls and security posts. There is also a bunch of prefab for offices. Those have been around for decades (the priest I work with was there about 30 years ago and it didn't change since).
We went to ask a car-pass to get easier access with our own car, and in front of the office were the most beautiful rose-bushes I have ever seen. Very big, fully bloomed, with many more young roses coming up. So much beauty!

During the Bible group one inmate brought up his concerns: when he is in jail he is a very religious person, he takes time to pray, he has a straight life and everything is fine.. But then he comes out and forgets about it. And gets re-arrested.
It's easier to be faithful when you are apart from all temptations.
We talked about how there is a difference between a religion that is "around" you, and a religion that is "inside" of you.
If you become religious because, let's face it, there is nothing else better to do, then it will fade away as soon as you have something else in mind. (And all people say: "women!")
We talked about the reasons why we are religious. It's ok to start attending religous classes in jail (or anywhere) because you want company and something to do. It's plain human. But at some point the search for God has to become personal. At some point you need to radically change your life.
Radically, from latin radix= the root. You have to change your life from its very inside.
Not change as in becoming someone different, change as in getting a different orientation in who you are.

An old man I know was always saying: "Be a good friend, be like rain and sunshine on your friends. Rain and sunshine won't turn a cactus into a strawberry, but they will the cactus to grow to what it is meant to be."
I like this.

My favorite example is St Francis of Assisi. He wanted to be a knight. He even went on his way to a crusade. But after he turned his life to God he oriented this desire differently. He didn't lose this combative, almost provocative character, but it turned it to love. He decided to embrace the way of Lady Poverty... He took on ambitious projects, he was still very absolute in his way of life. Still himself, but oriented not for his own impulses, oriented towards the Holy Spirit.


My ministry is not to turn those guys into church ladies. Our ministry is to provide them with knowledge of their faith, to provoke questions and reflexions, and to pray together.
I hope that they will find an orientation and a meaning to their lives. A meaning that direct them towards what really matters: a stronger family, an optimist spirit, a servant heart.

I make noodle necklaces for God...

...and I'm not ashamed of it.
There are noodles in my life. Especially stubborned judgmental persons that I meet every now and then. I suppose I got them on their bad days.. In French an annoying/close-minded /lazy person is called " nouille" (that's the kid friendly word). I'm unsure if the english word "noodle" has the same connotation...

Anyway when I need patience/courage in a situation , especially when someone is really being a pain #@%!@# my last resort before screaming and crying or running away is to make noodle necklaces for God.
The catholic tradition calls it "offering it up".
I like the idea of noodle necklaces because I had a hard time understanding the idea of offering your suffering. But I like the idea that the ugly moment I'm living can be collected as a noodle. A plain old useless noodle. When you add them together patiently and with some creativity they can turn into a cool necklace :)
I know I can be the centerpiece of some other people's necklaces.. It helps me keep it real. Even annoying times bring us closer to God, all we have to do is collect all those moments on the string of our patience, and offer it up . ;)

7 quick takes Friday

1-I think I'm a man inside.. Well not really. But when I read psychologic tests and articles about men and women and what differences there are.. I'm always the man!!

2-Also my husband and some of his friends started a new tradition, its called BroDay. Basically they do guy's stuff: grilling and smoking food, going to home depot to check out chains and tools, brewing beer, watching action movies, and just hanging out.
And of course I like all of it. Tell me now: isn't it a girl's day too? I mean obviously it's not a boys only day, but they pretend these are activities girls don't like too much... What? Which girl doesn't like a great steak and a good beer? Well I stay away from beer until I know whether I'm pregnant or not, but I still enjoy making some and smelling it ;)
I must say also that i'm not big on WWII movies either, but that's probably more to do with being French, when EVERY SINGLE wednesday night you can watch a documentary about WWII...
Oh and Home depot? A guy thing? where you can do HOME improvement projects? and buy FLOWERS and garden stuff? really?

3-Work is driving me nuts. I love charity work, and I believe in what I do and what I work for. But we're SO disorganized.. And too few people trying to do too much work... And working crazy hours when you have a family life is not good...
I was asked to reduce my hours more, but I still have to be there almost every freaking day of the week! So frustrating! I'm glad I live close by.



4- We are moving to Chicago in August! I'm so happy and excited about it!! I probably mentioned it already, but it's now 100% sure! Yeah for moving!

5- I feel proud because I found a good graduation present idea for a new pastor in my hubby's church. :) I suggest that we give her a present, as thank you for all she did these past two years, and people were really enthusiastic about it. (Like they didn't think about it??) First liturgical clothes were suggested (as catholic people often get for ordinations), but the main pastor said her home church is taking care of it. We decided on luggage, so she can go on missionary trips :)
Luggage is the best present I received. I think luggage are great graduation of anything present, you know all the "moving on" stages of life.. :)
High school grad: luggage to travel the country.
Pastor grade: luggage to spread the word.
Retiring: luggage to travel the world.
graduating a program: luggage for a new beginning.. :)

6- Also about the new pastor.. Someone asked me if, as catholic, I'm upset to see a woman preaching. Nope. :) I know MANY preachy women.. not always for the best... I love the graduating girl, she is really good: as a person, as an orator etc. I think she'll do a great pastor IMO.
Now a woman priest would be way more confusing to me. I believe Jesus was serious when he said " this is my body" (especially the part where he says :"eat my flesh" because there is not much room for interpretation and figurative talk in that one...) Anyway I believe priests represent the person of Jesus, they are consecrated to give us sacraments, particularly eucharist and reconciliation. I think it's important that priests are men, not just humans, male humans. I have no problem with getting counceling with a sister, or any lay person man or woman, but I would have a hard time hearing a woman saying " This is my body" in the name of Jesus.
I believe there is a feminine way of giving your body, and a masculine way. And I will never know how it is for a man. It's part of the mystery.
The same way a man can't be a mother. He can be a wonderful parent as a father, he is still not a mom.
Anyway just saying that to clarify: I'm thankful and glad about Charlene's graduation because she is a wonderful pastor. This doesn't mean I would understand women's priesthood in the catholic church.

As much as I can get upset at random gender attribution (like beer or home depot being more "manly") I think the gender difference is important when it comes to the way of giving your life for others. As much as there is a difference between motherhood and fatherhood.

7- I would love to announce something great like I'm pregnant... But no way to know.. :( Just have to wait...
I joined a website called 2 weeks wait (Yes for real) some ladies are a little fanatic about pregnancy tests... I have no idea where I am in the cycle because mucus and temperature are contradictory and BOTH are not very clear.
All I can do is wait. wait and see. :)

being thankful- a priest that made my life different

Part2 of my week of gratitude for religious persons (part 1 was about a favorite sister). I make it a week because there are many sisters and priests in my life, and even some pastors..
Today I would like to introduce you Father Vincent.

Father Vincent is a wonderful priest whom I met during my third year of college. He was officially in charge of students at the university, and he was doing a great job at it.
Now I had met priests before in my life. But it never occurred to me that they were existing longer than an hour on Sunday mornings, or that they would ever wear something else that a alb and chasuble...
Well Father Vincent was different from any other priest because he talked. He was not only recitating prayers and preaching, he was simply talking with anyone who was there. The student room was a great place where we would share lunch and chit chat in between classes.. The more time I spent there, the more I wanted to go back. I met some of my best friends, and I learned so much about God, Jesus, community and fraternity.
I'm very thankful for Father Vincent because he is a wonderful priest. He simply follows Christ's example of humanity: joyful, prayerful, deep in wisdom and knowledge, and very caring. I don't know any other priest who makes you feel like you matter, for real. I've met many great persons and religious ones, and I know how good they take care of their "flock". But he was not only taking care, he was caring.
Father Vincent is the one who made me understand what fatherhood is about.
There is this one verse of the letter to the Corinthian that always comes to my mind:
"Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel." (1 Cor 4:15)

And indeed I may have dozens of priests that I met since and know by name, he is the one who brought me to a living faith. :)

Sunday was the good Shepherd gospel. The Good Shepherd knows his sheet, and they listen to his voice.
Because a priest took time to talk with me, I took time to listen.
I'm so happy that Father Vincent is now a seminarian teacher. If there is one person to pass down his joy and passion of being a priest, he is the one!


My last year of college he went to Roma to study and get a PhD and I was very honored to read his thesis about the Holy Spirit (about GS 22,5). I'm very glad we kept in touch anyway, he always took the time to follow up on my discerning, to make sure I found some other priest for direction etc. And when we started the marriage preparation I asked him to celebrate in France and he made sure he even gave us skype appointement to receive marriage counselling (more personnal than the diocese group class).

When I pray for vocations I pray that God send us priests like him, who are taking the time to go beyond the shaking hands after service. People who can shake your life with the Gospel.