I have been going weekly to see a career counsellor with the unemployment agency of France. It's been going really well :)
It's a little bit like reading my great book : what color is your parachute?
but much more... superficial! So it goes much faster..
Also some weeks I haven't done much of what I was supposed to do, but that helps me see what I really care about (what I did) and what is not a priority in my life just yet..(and I didn't do!).
The skills assessment is great because I HAD TO face a major conflict of interest that I was avoiding for too long:
-stay at home or - work.
If it was only financial it would not be so hard I guess.. But it's more than this.
It's also about models and images. It took me a long time, but now I understand what someone was once saying about being a supermom and doing what is expected. I was wondering where those images come from, I don't know such a woman... And little by little I came to realize I see those models everywhere too now. If I read a blog about this lady who homeschools her kids, and documents it with application, I only remember this. Then the next documentary is about canning, and I see only this aspect, perfectly well mastered, of an other lady's life.. Little by little I get a mozaic picture of only perfect aspects of other people's lives and I feel like I'm expected to match up.. Self pressure? Media pressure? I don't know...
So currently by my acquaintances, readings and watching of various videos (thanks God I don't have tv) I have two pictures perfect opposing each other:
the stay-at-home american mom
and the do-it-all French perfect mom. And yes she works full time.
And smokes during breaks. And wears a size 4.Obviously it's WAY easier for me to identify with the stay at home mom!!
-First of all I want to spend time home and take care of my child(-ren)!
I have no desire to leave at 7am and pick a poor tired kid at 7or 8 pm after a long boring day at work..
-Second I actually like the household stuff. I love cooking. I like doing menus to balance our meals and budget.. I even like cleaning!!
(As a kid one of my favorite game was to steal my mom's lipstick and write on a mirror, then I would take the windex and pretend I'm a commercial add: "see this dirty mirror? In no time, windex cleans it all!" ) Anyways...
-Lastly I can't get bored. I would love to developp skills like sewing and gardening, which require time and practice... And I easily get involved in local groups, like church and such so I would have a minimum of social life..
But there is indeed more social pressure to work in France. Well at least I feel it more here. Maybe it's the family. Working is the way to go.
Staying at home is an option, but not a career.
There is a law especially to give years off for young mothers with the guarantee of a job afterward. You take a parental leave. 1 year for the first kid, and then up to 3 years for the following ones.. So as long as you have a kid under 3 years old you can stay home. That is neat. :) BUT staying home and not even thinking of work or going back to it is not an option. Well maybe it is but it would just be weird in french people minds.
An other reason to motivate me towards work is recognition. (Pride?) To be acknowledged as able to do a job, if possible somewhat esteemed, feeling some accomplishment outside of the house.. But honestly if at the end of my life I can say I raised this one kid to be a happy, loving human being, that would be my best accomplishment...
Yet I am leaning towards working in a near future.
1 comment:
There is a lot of pressure in the US for women to work, just not on the blogs. The blogs are full of homeschooling stay at home moms disproportiate to real life. I stayed home until my son was 4 and then worked part time until he was 6. After that I worked full or part time. In order to have a retirement at some point and to pay for college and vacations and other nice things working is necessary in the US. But if money were not important, then even now with no kids at home, I would stay home.
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