women's choices

Interrupting this lovely book review for a short EMC report...

BTW, did I mention how saddened I am by the murder of the abortion doctor in his own church? How sad! I can't imagine someone calling himself "pro-life" when taking one...

That doesn't mean I agree with what the doctor was doing, but ANY human life deserve respect.

I talked with Valerie today (yes it's a pseudonym). She is 19. She already had an abortion when she was 16 years old. Her mom found out she wanted an abortion and took her to the clinic. Then she told her not to get pregnant again. But it was ok to have sex.

Valerie never heard about efficiency rate for contraceptive. She wasn't using anything when she got pregnant this time.
Her boyfriend (now ex) got mad at her when he found out she was pregnant. (like she did it on purpose!!)

Anyway Valerie wants an abortion : " I already took my decision."
So we talk a bit more, family, education, boyfriend etc.

What does she know about abortion's procedures? " Oh I had one, I know". She told me she had an abortion at 2 weeks pregnancy (what??? you don't even know you're pregnant then!!) "well, early anyway". Later when she watches the 3d explanation for the procedure she recognizes the laminaria (used for 2nd trimester procedures).

What does she know about foetal developpement? Not much either.
About side effects and complications? same...

Now my question is : Can you really make a choice if you are ignorant of most implications of your choice, and of the alternatives?

Now the senior counsellor shows a new video to the girls, called " choice blues" which is VERY graphic. I personally can't stand to watch it. And I would not show it. I was thinking " Oh if I had an open heart surgery I'd be glad to see the computer thing, but not the real video, same here!! This is just going to make them mad and reluctant to talk about anything afterward.." And then my "co-worker" said " You know ladies, I don't show you thins just to know what happens to the fetus, I'm showing it to you because this is going to be YOUR BODY if you choose the abortion. They don't do it only to your fetus, it's YOUR BODY too..."
And it struck me that it's not often mentioned.

Women are also, to some extend, victims of abortions.
Especially emotionally.

SO MANY women consider abortion because they don't want to be a burden, because they think nobody would help them. They find out they're alone the minute they know they're pregnant.
The simple fact that abortion is an option makes it THE only option possible, because whatever they really want they will have to face the comment : " why are you keeping the baby?" " are you crazy? what about... "(fill in anything or everything: stress, studies, health, figure, family, boyfriend...)
If they chose to keep the baby they will indeed be alone most of the time. There are plenty of associations helping, but so few girls even search about them..
If they choose adoption they'll meet shame and guilt.
Because of course in today's mind it is better to terminate a pregnancy than to let someone else raise your child.

I get really upset when I hear a girl saying how her mom KNOWS she is having intercourse, but would get mad if she gets pregnant. What hypocrite world is that?
No personal attacks to mothers here, I think we are all to blame, that let teens believe they can control their fertility with condoms and pills, and we don't insist that sex's natural function is to make new little humans.

I'm also really upset at the whole pro-life/pro-choice battle. This is ridiculous.

I wish there would be some kind of huge pro-adoption campaign. With Tv shows taking the shame out of adoption. With posters warning that sex ALSO has reproductive functions, and that sometimes nature is stronger than chemicals.
With couples witness how beautiful and meaningful love is...